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Feedback on poetry
i wrote this a few years back.. just kinda want some feedback. i am by no means a poet hahah just curious and looking for tips
silence.
silence to fight against the words pushing at her lips
trying to get out
trying to fix what she’s stuck in
this dirty rut of past memories and a love gone rotten.
colder than ice, the those sharp words freeze her
freeze her mouth shut
and those echoing words are locked inside her head to spoil
until she cries
but her tears turn to ice
so whats the point?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Just a few points;
If you take out the "against" in line 2 it might flow better?
The fourth line, it's generally considered bad to use abbreviations in poetry when your style isn't very contemporary. Also, stuck? You need to be more consistent with the style. Change the fourth line and I actually love it.
I have another semester of poetry writing in January, so if you have anything you want me to take a look at send it my way.
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I like it :3
You just need a few corrections, and it's great.
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