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PLEASE READ ...what is gonna give me more confidence?
So ive been in therapy a few years now and ever since my parents divorced it really weighed on my shoulders, and took me away from my social life and school work. Now im struggling to pick up my grades and be social. Being social is the hardest. Because i always feel tired in school. Even though i go to bed not too late and take 2-3 B12 and multiviatmins a day. I try to eat breakfast. I used to have amazing confidence, like really tough, but now its really hard to even ask my friends to hang out. In some classes its like i cant raise my hand or ask a question because i feel tired or lifeless or expressionless. i not really proud of anything when i speak, i was usually really loud and funny, kinda the opposite now. and its so hard to deal with. especially because i sit with the popular crowd. They were always my friends, but they never ask me to hang out or whatever. i know once i become "myself" like loud and social where all friends and have a great time...that has happened at parties. i have really good confidence at parties and end up having a good time with them. But at school they act weird with me. I think because they suspect of my low self confidence. and i was once that girl that was like that, that would suspect that of other girls, so i know how it is. Eating healthy, vitamins, and working out only goes so far...i mean the endorphins only last for so long. Like for ex. if i drink two Mtn dews i get that same feeling i did 3 yrs ago, like confident and happy and hyper. and i just dont know what to do anymore. I just want to feel like i did before. I know im in middle school and its normal to feel insecure, but if the diovorce or the situation never happened i wouldnt be this insecure. not to the point where i feel like i need to fit in. like i dont really know what to do. i was alot depressed before so i dont think im depressed depressed like omg ahhh im so depressed ya know? days i feel sad but its not so bad. but i feel like i have social anxiety or something. its sucks because i was really popualr not even like that, i mean i was, but i was just social. and now i sit with them but its like weird. like they make plans w/o me, but like im not going to ask them to hang out with me, if i dont feel a conection or friendship with them. But i speak my mind, and that makes people laugh. and sometimes i think too much now of what im gonna say, so i just say it. but i just got in trouble in school for saying something i didnt mean. It seems so complicated..but i know its just me and i need to get over my fear of rejection from friends..thanks whatever u have to say!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I think I know how you feel. The fact that you are in therapy is good. It also does not mean you are not suffering from depression still. Maybe not the deep depression people usually associate with the word but depression all the same. Lets call it clinical depression since it is more hormonal in nature. If I'm right the hormones secreted in the brain are not being secreted in enough quantity to help you overcome the total darkness which surrounds depression; which includes self confidence. Being tired all the time, insecure, awkward socially where you were once out going and some of the other changes and things you spoke of are all signs of clinical depression.
The major cause of Clinical depression is stress. Your parents divorced, your a teenager in middle school, possibly female going through the beginning stages of puberty. WOA that is a lot of stress for a teenager to deal with.
Talk to mom or ask your therapist to talk to mom about taking you to the doctor to be screened for clinical depression and evaluated for an antidepressant. Normally antidepressants are not recommended for people under 18 though there are some that are safe to dispense to some teenagers. Your doctor may ask you to see a psychiatrist for medication, not that you are mentally ill. Antidepressants and the hormones they treat deal with are brain functions making the psychiatrist the better doctor to treat and prescribe.
This is the best advice I can offer, other than I know your parents divorcing is upsetting. Unfortunately it happens. Sometimes it is better they divorce than continue to live together and make life miserable for everyone.
What you need to understand is that both mom and dad still love you. That is a given. You are not the cause of their divorce and there was nothing you could have done that would have prevented it. Love your parents equally, don't chose sides as it is not fair to either of them. Neither should you begrudge either of then future love or happiness.
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