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it just seems so empty...
Five years ago the most important person in my life passed away in a horrible accident, its been five years and i still cant get over it. I still cant move on. He was everything to me, he was my everything. looking at myself now i can easily say that i'm emotionless, its like my heart is frozen...i don't know. i just don't feel anything now. my parents don't know how important he was to me, they just think that we were friends nothing more...so after the accident my parents send me to study abroad for a year, hoping that a change of the environment would have helped. it didn't. the pain only got more bottled inside.I don't want my family to worry so I smile and laugh but inside i just fell numb... I've been immersing myself into college, i'm a sophomore, but its not helping. my mom keeps bringing up how young i am and how i should be dating..but i just cant, i.....cant
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You can't deal with something like this alone. The more you hide your feelings the more you will not be able to move past this. I'm sorry for your loss though.
What I suggest is talking to this person's parents. They will understand and you both can grieve together. Even though its been years, I'm sure they are still dealing with it. They may not know you (idk if you ever met the parents) regardless, I know they will hear you and help you. They'll probably feel better as well. May come off a little shocked, but I promise they will speak to you.
Talking about it is the first thing you can do to move on.
You have to realize he is in a better place now and that he is watching you. He wants you to be happy, and he is probably upset that your letting his death affect your love life, and your personal life. Try talking to him. Silly, I know. But he can hear you. Maybe you can't move on because you feel guilty; once you speak to him, you'll feel better. He wants you to be happy, not grieving. Your suppose to be happy that he is in a better place and no longer has to feel any negative emotion what so ever.
You also need to talk to your parents. Sure, they don't understand. Your only a sophmore, you don't know what love is. Thats how all parents think, it sucks, but you know how you feel; and they need to support you and help you out.
Good luck,
if you need anything else, please dont heistate to inbox me!
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