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Is he not over his ex girlfriend?
21 female. Tony 19
This is kind of long, but I need some real advice.
Me and my boyfriend have been officially together for 2 months now, but have known each other for a long time. He's honestly different than any other guy I've known, he treats me SO good. He tells me he's falling in love with me and no girl has ever made him feel this way. He says I make him want to be a better person. I know he's not just a player with smooth words, I know he's sincere.
The thing is, something is bothering me. He's only had one girlfriend before me. They were together for like 8 months I guess but she cheated on him so he broke up with her. This was like a year ago. When we first started dating, Tony was like "Wow my ex girlfriend would never do ____ like you do" or he would tell me his ex girlfriend would never want to hang out alone, she would always have to be around people. He would like compare me with his ex girlfriend constantly. But in a good way I guess? But i was thinking okay is he not over her, why is he talking about her so much ...even though it wasn't in a good way. I asked him before if he still liked her, or if he was over her and he said yes he was over her and that no girl has made him feel the way he does like I do.
Well then we were at his grandparents house downstairs alone and his ex girlfriends sister requested me on Facebook and I said something like do you know who this is? And he goes that my ex girlfriends little sister. Well then he goes "Yeah Brooke (his ex) texted me the other day asking how I was doing and how my family was and that she knows I have a girlfriend but she just wanted to see what I have been up to" I was like okay, whatever you know not a big deal. But then I go on twitter (I don't personally have an account) but I knew my boyfriend does even though he didn't tell me and I like to see what he tweets. Well he tweeted his ex girlfriend two days ago saying "I'm shocked you haven't decided to follow me yet #disappointed"
I'm really starting to feel like she is a threat to me. I know there not friends anymore ..he told me that he hasn't talked to her since they broke up (well other than the day she texted him) but I'm kind of worried how he brings her up randomly and now is tweeting her. And the thing is he hasn't tweeted ANYONE EXCEPT her. I don't want to be a jealous girlfriend. Am I just overreacting? I just have this bad feeling though that he's not over her and he's not telling me the truth. I don't know what to do!!! I don't ever get worried about other girls, which is why I feel it's weird I'm getting worried about her. I don't want him to know i was creeping on him on Twitter either ha. What should I do!? :\
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You are overreacting (so is Zane, in my opinion).
We can't banish our exes from our brains, and we do make comparisons between our exes and new flames. Everyone does that, all the time. It can be a good thing to have someone who is honest enough about their own thoughts (and honest enough with you) to do so out loud. That doesn't have to mean anything.
There is nothing about that behavoir that means he isn't over her.
It's understandable that her reconnecting with him over text and twitter makes you uncomfortable, but he told you about the texts, and twitter is PUBLIC. You weren't creeping him. It's not private. He doesn't seem to be hiding anything.
Being over someone doesn't mean pretending they don't exist. Being over someone doesn't mean you don't wonder about them, it doesn't even mean you never speak to them.
Yes, this could be trouble, but it's respectful to talk to your boyfriend before you make too many assumptions. So take a deep breath and ask him how he is thinking about it, and listen to what he says. People get confused sometimes and have conflicting feelings - and that is okay.
You don't need to be the only girl he ever has a conversation with. You just want to be the one he chooses to be in a relationship with.
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He isn't over her, If he was he wouldn't have the need to talk to her nor try and get in contact with her again. The hint when a guy isn't over a women is when they constantly talk about them and same thing goes for women who talk about men. Talking about your ex while in a relationship with someone begins to make the person feel insecure and overtime they feel drained in the relationship. I don't care if this guy has the excuse of trying to remain friends with his ex, Reality is exes are generally nothing but trouble and drama. This guy is supposed to be in a relationship with you, You should be his main priority not whether his ex has tweeted him on Twitter or not. If you want a real relationship with someone then I suggest you find someone who isn't hung up on their ex because as long as you stay with someone who is you are never going to find what you seek..
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