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hey!
hey there. i saw you answer someone's question regarding school and i hope that maybe you can give me some advice. I've asked some questions here before and everyone was so mean! So, I'm glad to have found you! :)
My story goes like this. Right now I go to a state school in Florida. I am having to transfer to a private school because of them not having my major in my school. My major is secondary education. Since I started school, my family has expected me to work. If I haven't had a job, they are always helping me look for one. Living in my house is so stressful. Despite how much they love me and care about me, they don't understand me. I live with my mom and my grandparents. My mom is a mess. She makes a mess of my room. It is so bad, that I can't even sleep in my own bed. I can't do homework on my desk. I've tried, sincerely, to talk to her and tell her that I need this from her. But, she doesn't listen. I have been struggling with this for years now.
I would do my homework in the library. But, the issue is... that with work, I can't. The library closes at a certain time. There is no "kitchen table" or any other space I can use because my grandparents are always watching television. I can't ask THEM to stop because this is their house and they are set in their ways. Even with work, I cannot afford to live on my own. I live in Miami and it is MAD expensive. A STUDIO apartment is almost $1000!!! On a part time job, I can't even make that AND keep up with school. So, I can't even imagine full time!
I feel scared to go away to college because I recently found out I was adopted and it has left me a little uneasy for a while. I don't want to go away. But, I can't live in my house. My parents WILL NOT pay for a dorm. They say that is a waste of money and they are traditional Cuban, Catholic and they don't want me living with roomates. That's just how they are.
I am convinced that if I went to the private school to begin with, my mom wouldn't be making such a big deal out of me working. Let me just add that SHE DOESN'T WORK!!!! SHE HAS NOT WORKED IN OVER 10 YEARS! I am extremely stressed trying to keep up with everything. All my friends from high school are away from home, not working, focusing on school, and their parents give them money. My half brother was in nebraska for some time, and QUIT school. My dad was sending him money up there. He wasn't working. He was partying and drinking and all of this stuff. I am an ANGEL. I don't mean to gloat about myself in any way, I just want to get the point across. I'm turing 21 in January, and I've never had sex! I have NEVER come home drunk. I don't smoke. I get good grades. I have a job. My best friend is my mom.
I sincerely need my parents help. At this private school, they barely tolerate C's. I'm going into education and it's IMPERATIVE that I get A's!!!!! I need all the time I can get. I am willing to stay working part time (like 15 hours). But, I need my own space. I saw a studio apt that was $900! That's SUPER cheap for Miami. I am willing to pay for HALF. That's $400! But, I need my dad to pay for the other $400. My mom wants me to move out because she sees how stressed I am. She's not willing to change her lifestyle and I am going to have to keep on sleeping with her and doing homework on HER bed till 5:00 in the morning because of what I'm going through. I just need them to pretend that their my roomates and help me pay for the other $400. I am not trying to sound like a brat or say I am entitled to anything. I know I'm not. But, they ARE my parents. And if he did it for my brother, why can't he do it for me? Just because I'm not his biological daughter? :'(
Please let me know how you would handle this! God bless xoxo
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Wow. You've certainly got a lot on your hands! Let me first start off by saying that perhaps it would be a good idea to tell them what you just told me. I understand you've tried, but for some reason it's just not clicking with them.
I strongly suggest moving out as soon as possible. I believe there are studio apartments available at Waterford Landing for about $790. I think you should definitely explain to your parents how hard you've worked to get this far & how essential it is that they help pay at least for some of your independence. I wouldn't approach it quite like that, but explain how you are wise with budgeting, need space to do well in your classes, and plan to keep in touch. If your parents are REALLY against helping you with rent, maybe you could propose a plan to start paying them back once you get on your feet.
Since it'd be too overwhelming to take on new hours at your job along with your classes, I would suggest looking elsewhere for a job. Don't up and quit your job just like that because it may take a while to find another one-- but do your research around town and see if the pay is better somewhere else. If not, stick with the job you have now and pray for a raise. On that note, if you've had your job for a long time and do well at it, there is no harm in asking your boss for a pay raise. While this can be awkward, it might work in your favor. Tell your boss you are currently working toward a more independent lifestyle and that a raise would really help you to get there. Explain to them that you wholeheartedly understand if they cannot give you a raise, but would like them to take it into consideration.
Understand that if you don't get the raise, it's probably more to do with the economy than your skills.
I don't think your father is withholding funds from you because you aren't his biological daughter. Did he give money to your brother recently or a while ago? Money might have gotten tighter. Regardless, I believe it is inexcusable for them not to provide you with the tools for success unless they are financially incapable to do so.
Start applying for any college scholarships you can find. There are A TON out there I didn't know about until a few weeks ago. Essay contests, book awards, etc. really give a lot of money. As for the essay contests, sometimes you win scholarship money just by showing up because no one else in the area even applies! Usually, your local American Legion center will host them.
I wish I could offer some wiser advice but since I'm in a very different situation, it's hard. But prayer is the most powerful weapon, and I will certainly be keeping you in my prayers! I am confident that things will turn around for the better in due time so keep on keepin' on and don't lose your strength. You are a very strong person! Have patience and cherish the moments at home you have now, no matter how unbearable they are right now.
God bless, and Hope I helped!
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