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i took your advice &&
THANKS A MILLION WITTY!!!
SO I took your advice and I went to see him today, and I didn't think I'd be able to ask him out. But yea after he looked over my paper we just were casually talking and i got to know a bit more about him personally, i liked it alottt. right before i left i was like hey would you ever want to go out? and he was like what? and so i repeated it and he looked at me and said yes. and so i was a nervous wreck and so i was like not here but like somwhr outside, and he was like yeah okay. and i was like i know you said you dnt like coffeee but we can make it fancy and do tea and he was like ill give you my number. while he was writing it down i asked id he works alot, and he said he does, and his availability depends week to week. and he wrote it down, and gave it to me. and he told me to text him sometime. i mean i dont know if thats good. but he did say yess. thanks witty , omg your awesome! but now what? when do i text him? do i ? like do i still go to him to get tutored?im smiling for the first time in months. are you proud of me? I asked a guy out!!!! And he said yes. I feel good cause he so damn cute. But I wish I asked him out the way you told me too, I couldn’t find those words to come out. I couldn’t tell him I think he’s cute, it wouldn’t come out of my mouth even though I was sitting thr admiring him, I can’t believe he even said yes. You’re the best, seriously. But I don’t know what to do now? I don’t even know how to kiss a guy if it even comes to that, I don’t. never kissed anyone. I dont know how this works help me! Pleaseeeeee. And what do I say I wanna do like do I tell him I want to get dinner? Whats the next step? I don’t know how to kiss a guy, even hold hands with a guy. Gosh he makes me nervous. I have butterflies. Ahhhhhh im so happy?!! I never would of done this without you, thank you thank you. This feeling is awesome. Fill me in. how do you act on a date. And remember im still like young and so is he so I don’t know if going to dinner is too mature for a first date? Hahha gosh, I don’t even know what to say, but I feel like he would never fall for me, and hes just being nice and saying yes.
thankss wittty!
annashae
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Haha good for you!
See what I mean about how when you're shy people could be interested and you'd never know? You put yourself out there, even as awkward and nervous as can be, and holy shit dude's all about being more than tutor/tutoree.
Ok, first texting protocol so to speak. The biggest thing to keep in mind here is not to overthink texts. If you text and he doesn't get back to you for a while, don't overthink it or freak out or worry. Always remember that he said yes, which means he actually is interested in you, so if you don't hear from him give him the benefit of the doubt that he's got a good reason and be patient.
Don't overwhelm, don't leave a ton of texts or voicemails for him to find or anything. A few texts or a text and a voicemail is fine and then wait for him to get back to you. Texting back and forth is fine, have fun etc.
Start it off by asking him when he's free and what he'd like to do. If he isn't sure dinner or a movie or something similar is perfectly fine. Whatever you do set aside time you can talk, don't just go to a movie and go home or whatever.
You don't have to worry about being something specific, just worry about sending clear signals. Smiles let him know that he puts you in a good mood and that you're enjoying yourself with him, eye contact lets him know you're attentive and interested in what's going on/what he has to say.
Touch barrier... one of the things that can be uncomfortable for two shy people is the physical contact part of it. Holding his hand is easy. Just grab it when you get a chance. If you're sitting there drinking coffee or tea or whatever put your hands on the table and give him an open invitation to hold hands. If he initiates smile to let him know you welcome it when you do.
Getting past simple touching, you can be encouraging without stepping outside of what you're comfy with. Example, lets say things go well and you make out a little and his hands wander a little more than you're comfy with. Be clear with what you're ok with by smiling at him and placing his hands where you want them to be as opposed to just pushing him away or something. Instead of breaking physical contact just show him what you want or are ok with.
Kissing is kissing. You learn by doing. If he seems timid you can get him alone and lean in, make it clear you're inviting him to kiss you. Or just kiss him.
Don't think things like "he's just being nice and saying yes". Guys don't generally do that, first off, and thinking that will affect how you behave around him. Act like you're both interested, assume that he likes you until proven wrong. Remember risks? This is part of dating, you give him the benefit of the doubt that he's perfectly capable of saying yes or no as he desires and that he said yes for real reasons which involve his desire to get closer than just schoolwork with you.
Set a date, go out, be yourself, smile at him, send clear signals about what you want so that he knows when he's doing what you want and when he needs to do something he's not. Above all, relax. Butterflies are absolutely normal and fine, but don't let excitement turn to worry. And if you want something help make it a reality. If you want to kiss him suggest going somewhere conducive to it. If you want to talk to him same thing.
And yeah,keep going for tutoring. Ask him about it. He might want to set up more private study dates where you can get some work done and then get some not work done together, he might prefer you keep the tutoring separate from the dating life, you won't know until you ask. He might decide that dating you means he can spend his actual tutoring nights working with others he won't see on a more private basis and spend other time helping you. Approach it from a "I just was wondering what you think" perspective and let any choice involved be a good one.
And if you're really worried about kissing just google kissing videos or something to get some ideas. It's pretty instinctual when you get right down to it, but if you want specific tips just make sure not to eat his face or slobber all over him. French Kissing is not about tickling his tonsils with your tongue.
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