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Hey (If you use my real name again, I will no longer answer your questions) its me!
I dont know if you remember me or not, but im the girl who wrote you telling you how much i thank you for helping through so much and giving me your advice on everything.. well i need your advice, and i need you to listen to me because im upset :( and your the only one i actually wanted to talk to about this with.. i feel so diffrent, i still cry about him sometimes, but i go to school now, i have a whole new set of friends, i get along with boys much better now, i feel like im able to move on.. but im still feeling so much resentment and anger towards him.. i feel like i dont think about him as much as i used to but when i do i feel like crying and i feel so angry,but im soo much stronger than how i used to be.. you were so right about him though, i hear he does bad things now =/ and it doesnt bother me as much as i thought it would.. i always feel like i want to be alone in school.. but i dont know how to tell my friends that, all i want is some space to myself, is that wrong? ive been so held up with school work, with friends, with other things that i miss being alone but i dont know what to tell my friends when i want to be alone, thyr not so understanding.. is it normal to feel this way?
Another thing ive been going through is that theres this boy at school, i dont know if he like s me.. he looks at me alot, and were good friends, just recently i started becoming closer to him.. but i heard that him and this girl have a thing or something, im not sure it wasnt clear.. its probably not even true.. but it made me back off completely and just get pissed off, i feel like hes such a distraction, like i dont have to think about my ex whenever im around him because hes really attractive and hes a good guy, and i wanted to be closer to him and now that i am i just feel angry that he isnt my rebound person, and yes i do want him to be i wont lie to you because im telling you striaght out how i feel, not rebound rebound, but i wanna start new with someone else, and i wanted it to be him, and i dont know if i even like him but i do always wanna be around him and hes reallly nice to me and treats me good..
Am i afraid of being alone?
Do i always have to be in a relationship?
or do i just want ANY way to get over my ex and stop me from thinking about him because of the amount of depression that happens to me when i do get upset? i dont understand myself anymore, and i dont know if thats even normal..
what i can tell you from all this is that im 100 percent way more stronger than how i was when i first talked to you, but i feel like im trying to be happy because i feel like i NEED to be already, i want any way to get over him and i dont know if what im doing is right or wrong.
thanks for listening :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am glad you got something out of what we talked about before, so I'm going to ask you to listen very closely to the simple truth of this situation:
Time and distance.
You need more time to get over this. It may take months, it may take years... and it could suddenly be all better tomorrow. There is no way to know.
As far as the new boy goes... until you are 100% certain that no part of your heart belongs to your ex, and I don't think it sounds like you are there yet, then you won't truly be available for someone new.
Would you want to date a guy who spent as much time as you have on Advicenators bemoaning the loss of his girlfriend? Probably not.
Give it some time. You need to heal.
As for wanting to be alone: Yes, we all need alone time now and again. Normal. Don't just tell your friends you want to be alone... tell them why. Tell them how long you want to be alone. If you don't want to go out on Thursday, then tell them you will talk on Friday.
If you want a week to yourself, tell them so... just make sure that they know it isn't because of them.
Oh, and also about the new boy... you will never know how he feels by depending on rumors. When you feel like you are all done with your ex, just go and talk with him.
The very worst he can do is reject your advances. I know it seems like the worst thing in the world... but it isn't. Good to have some practice in handling rejection anyway. Learning to cope with that will only help you later in life.
Remember:
"...i wanted it to be him, and i dont know if i even like him..."
... is the point of this whole thing.
Find out more about him before you start any serious relationship. Make friends and see where it goes from there.
If he is only a distraction from your ex, then you are using him.
How would you feel if a guy told you he liked you, and then you found out you were only a toy to keep his mind off his ex? :-(
When you are looking to start a new relationship... remember your control issues in the last one. If you can't overcome that, then your next relationship will fail too.
Find out who he is. Who he REALLY is. You didn't do that last time, and it didn't end well.
Whoever you try to make a relationship with next, you need to be compatible. If you aren't, it will NOT work.
This time, pick someone you don't feel the need to control, and see how much better things work out. :-)
Just remember: Time will make this much better than it is now.
Good luck.
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