|
Meeting my boyfriends family
21 female Nick -18
So me and Nick have been "talking" for about 5 months but only official for about a month. I'm honestly so comfortable with him, and he treats me like a princess. His mom and dad are divorced, he lives with his mom. I know his dad and step-mom very well. I've met his mom once, and it was a quick "hi" because she had to go somewhere.
Nick says his mom is always asking how I'm doing and how we are doing together, which is nice. I know she wants to get to know me and actually get to see me for more than a minute. Well just yesterday Nick said, my mom wants you to come to her birthday dinner in 2 weeks at my grandmas. He said it was going to be his aunt and uncle and his other uncle, his grandparents, his sister and then his mom and her boyfriend. I am freaking out! Obviously i can't say no just because I'm scared. I should really meet them. It's just that I'm horrible when it comes to meeting new people. I'm so shy, I never know what to say. Obviously I want his family to like me but it will be awkward meeting his whole family at a dinner. I'm always the girl who just sits there and listens to what everyone else is saying. I'm not outgoing at all when it comes to meeting new people -especially my boyfriends family!
How can I get through this? Any advice!?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hello :)
well heres a few tid bits for you. I'll bullet point my advice so as to make it easier on the eyes:
1. People -as pessemistic as it sounds- love to talk about themselves. So dont be afraid to ask questions. These can be questions such as "is this the house nick grew up in?" or "what line of work are you in?" or stuff like that. From there, you can base what else you will say.
2. When someone replies, maybe with something like "im in accountancy" or whatever, don't reply with "oh" or anything. Use it as a stepping stone to build conversation. Questions such as "How long have you been doing that?" or "do you enjoy it?", or even better, make a connection with your life such as "my uncle is in that line of work" or "that type of career has always interested me".
3. Don't lie. Dont pretend you know about something you dont. Like just say Nicks mother says she's an accountant. Dont reply with "I've always thought of that as an option for me in the future" if you dont know anything about being an accountant, as she'll probably ask you questions about it
4. If people are talking, make sure you look interested. Even if you are bored, just pretend. But don't not listen. I understand that if people are talking at the dinner table, it can sometimes get boring especially if you dont know anything about the subject, but if you stop listening and they ask you "so what do you think about it?", then you shall be screwed!
5. Remember table manners, basic etiquette, and politeness.
6. Mingle with everyone. Nick will be comfortable in his surroundings and will probably talk to everyone. You need to mingle too, or you will just look like you dont want to talk to anyone. Even if its simple small talk like "the weathers been bad recently"...it shows that you are making an effort , regardless of the fact that they know what the weather is like.
7. Saying peoples names in conversation will definitely make them feel more at ease. For example, just say the mother is called Mrs. Smith, say something like "as you probably know Mrs.Smith...." but dont keep doing it: only once per conversation to each person.
8. Call everyone "mr.x" or "mrs.x" unless they ask for you to call them by their first name.
9. Try to do some research. No Sherlock Holmes business, but ask Nick about what his mother/uncle etc do, or enjoy. This way you can bring it up. Stuff like "So Mrs.XX, Nick told me you enjoy XXXX." and then lead on from that. So just say Mrs.XX enjoys painting, then again, make some sort of connection. Even if its something really obscure like "I saw a painting by XXX the other day. What do you think about their work?" or whatever.
10. Relax. The whole family will be excited about meeting you, and so you need to be confident in the knowledge that they all want to speak to, hear, and see YOU. You will be the guest of honour here. This is the night that is fully dedicated to your presence. That may sound daunting, but think of it as a compliment. You are so interesting, and so special to Nick, that they want to meet YOU.
Hope i helped, and good luck! :)
]
I'm relatively shy too when it comes to interacting with new people, although I am now at the point that I can talk to my boyfriend's mom... his dad died when he was 15 (rather not talk about it). What I basically did was when she had questions for me I would answer them, until I became comfortable with talking to her if I were you I would try that.
Also depending on how old-fashioned your boyfriend's family is, dress more conservatively for dinner. It's always safest to try to show as little as possible for the time being. Be polite to everyone and most of all be yourself, most people can tell when you're trying to put on an act. Ask her or your boyfriend what she wants you to call her, does she want to be known by her first name or does she want to be called Ms. So-and-So?
Possibly you can buy her a little something as well, maybe go to your local bakery and pick up a tray of cookies or go to the store and buy her a box of chocolates... just something nice.
Your boyfriend likes you, his mom will most likely too if given the chance. Good luck!
]
More Questions: |