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my husband says i hold onto the past too much
i feel like i cant trust my husband because he lead me to believe that and when i bring things up he doesnt want to hear it he keeps saying i hold on to the pass to much but if he would stop and just love me and respect me we will have no problems he seems not to understand that he always eye roming and that hurts my feeling and its destroying our marriage what should i do
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If there is something that happened with your relationship in the past that isn't a now valid issue it's understandable that it would bother your husband that you're still bringing it up. If you can't let go of something that isn't an at the moment pressing issue, how are you supposed to move forward in your relationship?
Also, if he's "eye roaming" when your with him (let's face it guys are guys and they'll look, but the good ones won't touch) you need to let him know that it's bothering you.
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Does some part of you agree with your husband? You didn't exactly explain what your husband meant by holding onto the past. Do you vent too much? Do you hold grudges? It's okay to vent out feelings to your spouse but too overwhelm them is something that needs to be directed with a therapist.
My spouse used to do the same thing and all I heard was constant venting about certain things that happened months ago. Your husband can lend you an ear but you cannot expect him to be your therapist. One can only handle so much until they start feeling the pressure. If you have things you need to get off your chest and talk about then you would need to see a therapist. Seeing a therapist gives you someone else to talk too so you don't overwhelm your husband. That is how you fix it, It's less off your shoulders and your husbands as well.
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