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Broken :/
My boyfriend and I just broke up and I have never felt this horrible..
I cant get over it. Theres times when I think im fine but it always goes back to wondering if hes thinking of me and wondering if he will ever come back.
Our relationship hasnt been good for a while and so I ended it. But now im regretting everything, I know he wont accept me back and honestly I dont think that I'd be okay if I had to chase him. It was a weird break up because we talked on the phone for like 2 hours and we ended with saying we'd prob get back in a year or 2 and that we love each other. But now that ive had time to think about it...Im doubting we will get back if its been that long. I cant stand the thought of him getting with other girls but this is probably going to happen :/ I feel pathetic and horrible and I really dont know what I should do to get over this. I love him so much but it just wasnt working out :[
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What you feel is expected. Most of the time when anyone breaks up with someone they feel massive regret after wards and feel like they would give anything just to be back with them.
This decision is really up to you and what you think would be best for you, but I'll try and give you some advice that might make the decision a little more clear.
Sometimes two people just aren't compatible, but sometimes it's just timing and place. Sometimes two people just cannot work right now for whatever reason, and it's healthier for them to not be together.
This is my experience with incompatibility-
My previous relationship wasn't working out well, so we broke up. We had the same kind of thing you did, but we were sitting in a car talking for an hour or two and it was really sad. In a week or two we got back together because I missed him so much, and things just got worse. The problems I had with him before hadn't resolved and only became worse during the next few months. We broke up again, and still I had that regret feeling and wanted to be back with him. I think it's normal, even when you know you don't belong with someone or that it's not good to be with them, to feel utter regret when you're not with them any more and to want to be back with them. They were a part of your life, and for anyone to leave your life that you care about and have been emotionally trusting in really hurts.
You need to look back on why you two broke up and whether the better decision (which is a really hard decision to make) is to just let him go. It wasn't too good for a while, but why? Do you think this problem is going to continue if you get back together now? Are you willing to deal with this problem again, and also the possibility of having to break up again?
It's really difficult, but you have to force yourself not to talk to him in any way for a while. When your feelings start to subside (and they WILL after time) then you can consider being friends. Remember that too, no matter who they are you will always move on from them in time. Sometimes it can take a really long time, but eventually you will get over them.
If you know he won't want to get back with you now, then you just have to deal with it. It's so hard and it hurts so much, but the first two weeks are the hardest. It's critical in this stage to try to avoid him so you don't keep hurting yourself.
I honestly believe that if it's meant to happen, it will. My current boyfriend and I had been together before about 2 years ago. It didn't work out because of the timing and place. We were still in high school, he moved far away and we weren't dealing well with long distance, and we both weren't ready for a long term relationship. We started talking again a year later and became really great friends like we were for several years after we first met. After about a year, we finally told each other that we'd never gotten over one another and felt even stronger about each other than the first time we were together.
In this time I had another boyfriend, he'd had another girlfriend, and I think if we had stayed together it probably would have ruined the relationship forever. Sometimes things turn out a certain way in life so that they can work out better for you in the future. Sometimes a little heartache now will lead you to a better relationship or a more compatible boyfriend later in life. And breakups and things that hurt us make us mature us and make us better people.
Maybe it won't work out again with my boyfriend and I, but I think I'm okay with that. Because I believe that things happen for a reason and even though things hurt sometimes, they hurt so that we can have wonderful things later on.
I'm sorry this is a bit all over the place lol. I just want you to know that what you're feeling is normal and that it can work out in all different ways. You could get back together, you could never get back together, you could meet someone else you love a lot more, there's all different possibilities. It's up to what you think is best for NOW, right here and right now. Anythings possible in the future, but you need to make sure that you're happy and healthy in your current time and place.
And I know you want to know how to get over him, but I know how easy it is to get back with someone. And even though you say he won't get back with you, I think there's always a good possibility you two might. To help yourself get through it, you just have to be strong willed and avoid him for a while. Preoccupy yourself with homework, study or work and surround yourself with loving friends. Remember that it's good to cry, but after a little while you need to pick yourself back on and get back to being a happy person.
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