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remember me?
hi. So I am not sure if you remember me, but I am the 19 year old female who really likes that bus driver 20 years my senior. You seemed the wisest from all the columnists so that is why I am back.
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I miss this guy so much, months are passing but my feelings are only growing. I understand to you it may seem funny if somebody so young is attracted to someone so old but i cannot help who catches my eye. A bus driver is just his profession so I don'T get why it is so weird. He's just a normal person like everyone else, but with a better soul. I love him for who he is. sigh. I have tried to take your previous advice but it is not helping, days just keep passing me by. i know he already has a woman but that's not stopping me from loving him. i do not expect him to be my lover just at least be by my side as a friend like old times. i cant forget about him, nor move on. i never met someone so amazing, i feel like hes the only man i can be happy with. I would give the world for him just as long as hes happy and successful. I apologize for bothering you and taking your time, but I really need someone to talk to, i hope you can.
annashae
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Honestly, they have a word in psychology for this, it's known as limerance, and it's basically unrequited love with a severe, almost obsessive need to have the other person return your feelings.
There is some hole in your life which needs to be filled and you are filling it with your feelings for this guy. I can't begin to address this in a question, I couldn't really in person either. We're entering professional "I really should be college educated and licensed to give you advice" territory.
I can tell you that you need to figure out what hole you're trying to fill in yourself and address it some other way than this guy, because whatever it is I doubt it even has a ton to do with him. I have alot of personal experience with living a life devoid of affection and love and seeking others to fill the holes, I can't say that I've ever gotten good advice on fixing problems like this and all my revelations have come from introspection.
I will make one observation though. You've repeatedly talked about how you want to give him the world, you want to make him happy. You've not hesitated to go on about sacrificing whatever you'd have to sacrifice to make his life better because that would be worth it to you.
Do you feel like anyone in your life needs you? Do you wish you did? You sound like you are searching for someone who will make you feel like you are essential to them. I think you should spend some time thinking about why you don't feel essential to yourself. You can't live for other people, and you don't seem to want enough to live for yourself.
Consider talking to a therapist. There are issues here I don't know you or know enough about psychology and counseling to begin to help you with. But while you're considering that advice, definitely take some time and ask yourself why you are so desperate to fill a void you perceive in someone else's life. Ask yourself what void exists in yours that you can't fill without someone else.
I can tell you from experience that when you don't love yourself enough and seek others to do it for you, even when you get exactly what you want it doesn't actually fix the original problem that you don't love yourself enough.
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