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humorist-workshop
Hymen broken
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I saw a question on your page related to it.
When I was 16, I was dating a guy. We never had sex, but we liked to make out and he fingered me a lot. One night, he broke my hymen by doing this. It was a shock of pain straight up through my vagina, and he said he saw blood.
Does that mean I lost my virginity to him? We broke up later on, and the next guy I dated when I was 17 is the guy that I first had sex with, and I've always considered him to be the one I lost my virginity to. I told him the whole story about having my hymen broken, but that I had never had sex.
Did I lose my virginity by having my hymen breaking through fingering, or did I lose it the first time I had a penis inside me?
Side note: Many months after the break up with the boyfriend I lost my virginity to, I started talking again to the guy who broke my hymen. We had a deep conversation one night about how we considered breaking my hymen as "half my virginity" (I know it sounds stupid). But I'm still very confused about who I really lost my virginity to. Does this make me a whore because I'm not sure? I've only slept with one guy and done anything physically with guys I am seeing at the time.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
If you read my previous answer, then you already know the answer, but since you asked twice in 10 hours, then sent a followup to find out why I hadn't answered fast enough for you, I am going to re-state:
The purpose of virginity, male and female, is freedom.
Freedom from disease, and freedom from emotional baggage.
Since you can get a range of STDs from being fingered, that is when you no longer were 100% free from disease possibilities, and that is when it would be wise to stop calling yourself a virgin.
Your hymen has nothing to do with virginity, really... otherwise, boys couldn't be virgins at all. See where I am going with this?
The whole half your virginity thing... well, it is one of those things people create so they can feel better about their past. You know it, he knew it and I know it.
Best to just be honest from here on out. You had your first sexual contact with the first guy. Even if you still had your hymen, you could have both emotional baggage and diseases from this, so with that in mind, do you still think it would be ok to call yourself a virgin, half a virgin maybe?
Nope. You are now sexually active, as in you have actively done sexual things.
Virgin = NOT sexually active.
Good luck.
P.S. Please ask questions that you would like my input on, both to me and the rest of the site. My schedule is insane, as I had already mentioned, and while I wish I could answer everyone's questions right away, I can't.
I only answer those things that have immediate pressing need, such as suicide help questions and relationships where people are about to do something stupid, or have done it and need help to recover before it is too late. Everything else, I get to when I have time. Sometimes a week, other times a month.
Thank you for understanding.
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