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I want to move on from this pain.
Okay so I'm going to make this short. I met a guy online. We've talked for almost a year and a half and we know everything about eachother. You dont need to lecture me about everyone is not what they seem, I know. Even though something is apart of it. Well at one point we were dating for at least a month and he thought this were bad. Which I didnt think so. Well he lied and said he was a girl all along. So after two weeks I was still hurt from it and I had sex with this guy who liked me at the time and tried to comfort me. And I told him, when I thought he was this andrea girl. Then a week after he starts yelling at me, confessing that he had his friend tell me he was a girl. And that he had a threesome...I dont know what to do it hurts when I think about it I want to cry. He says he loves me and I believe it but when I look back at it, I dont know what to do. Whenever I tell him what I'm feeling about it he always says im just trying to make him feel bad when Im not, Im telling him how I feel. He says the only reason he did was revenge on me for having sex and saying im no better than he is. But..he lied, so when I didnt think he existed I didnt think anything was wrong. But he had a threesome knowing about me...I dont know how to move on. I want to but everytime I think of it it hurts. Who would you say is right, me or him? SHould I forgive him for this? I planned on marrying this guy but dont think Im crazy cause we've skyped. Help my heart.
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Hello,
i am pretty sure someone has told you this, but, this is also my advice. Even if this is a real person, i can already tell you that there is soooo much drama attached to him. I mean, you guys haven't met in person yet and it is already bad. You can only imagine how it would be if you did meet. Marriage, marriage is work and hard. And you want to be in it with someone you can trust. I don't think he is trust worthy. I know this sucks and i know this hurts, but the best you can do is delete him, block him and go out, get some fresh air. Hang out with your friends.
Hmmm...another thing, the guy you slept with that tried comforting you? Even though i do not believe that sex is the best option to comfort a person, kinda seemed like he was taking advantage of your fragile state, but still. If he was truly doing it to comfort you all i have to say is this : Sometimes us as females, we concentrate on what is sure to hurt us, when the right guy is standing right next to us whipping our tears away ;) You can do this, you are strong. He does not have the right to be mad at you after letting you go, lying to you and deceiving you. He is trying to make everything that he has done be your fault because he knows he is wrong. You can do it!!
:)
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The best way, in my opinion, to move on from this pain is to make a clean break from this guy and probably from any others with whom you have had romantic attachments. The best way to get out of the tangle is to get out of the net. This guy lies, plays games, and uses sex as a means of revenge; he is no good for you. I also think your having sex with this other guy probably wasn't a good idea; sounds like revenge sex, rebound sex, or sex motivated by other unhealthy emotions. Sex needs to happen in a mature, healthy environment, otherwise it complicates unhealthy situations and prolongs the agony or delays progress toward a healthy situation.
The pain this situation has caused you won't disappear overnight, but if you step away from the situation, the pain will fade. There are many guys out there who have integrity and have the emotional maturity to give as well as take. Take the time to find them and refuse to settle for those weak of character.
Who is right, you or him? He is most definitely wrong in so many ways, as I pointed out in the beginning. You? Well, you made some mistakes and you'll do better in the future because you are capable of introspection and learning from experience. Should you forgive him? Yes, for your own sake. Forgive him and forget him; forgiving him will free you from the emotional entanglements, but it won't make him any less of a liar and manipulator so leave him behind. Be glad he revealed his nature before you married him, you dodged a bullet, there.
And finally, hold out hope for yourself and your future. As I said, there are many guys out there who will be honest with you and treat you with care and respect.
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