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My bf lying about his closeted gay/bi friend...
During a meal with my bf, his friend "Paul" and "Paul"'s gf a visitor arrived. Paul started acting weirdly and all of a sudden he and the guest "John" started playing roughly and fighting in the bedroom while the rest of us were awkwardly eating a meal. Basically all we heard were shouts and things breaking.
It was time to leave, so me and my bf got up. Bf opened bedroom door and "John" was showing "Paul" his penis. My bf said sorry to them after he barged in on them after stunned silence. Then he just kept talking and acting as if he saw nothing. I was behind him and nobody noticed me. When we left I questioned him about Paul's sexuality without mentioning what I saw. Bf got defensive and when i told him point blank why they were showing their privates, he stated that thats "what boys do". Then he got very angry and started shouting "are you trying to imply that my friend is gay?" hmmm....
anyway, my question is: why do you think my boyfriend is lying? is he feeling awkward about the incident? could he possibly be gay too? am i being predjudiced? i feel sorry for Paul's gf... i dont' feel i should tell her what i saw... I hardly know Paul & gf...
confused.
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You are getting yourself worked up over something that is
A irrelevant.
B none of your business.
The lesson you should be taking away from this incident is to not invite Paul and John over to your house again. They are colossally rude guests. Your boyfriend should acknowledge this: They were rude and made everyone uncomfortable. He may still wish to be their friends, but they should no longer be guests in your home - they can take their rudeness to a bar.
Paul's sexuality is none of your business.
John's sexuality is none of your business.
Are they gay? bisexual? Or were they just doing what 'guy's do'? Were they simply playing a twisted kind of ‘gay chicken’? Were they just curious or bragging?
Any of these explanations are possible - and there are many other explanations as well.
You can't know. Neither can anyone here on Advicenators.
You are being prejudiced to act like it's any of your business at all - expect your business as a host - to fairly expect better behaviour when people are guests in your home. That’s all you are entitled too.
Is your boyfriend gay? If this incident is the only evidence, then it’s not evidence at all. He’s probably homophobic, but this was not evidence of him being gay - only very uncomfortable.
But again, you can't know for sure. Neither can anyone here on Advicenators.
But you can ask him, because his sexuality is your business. You can ask him honestly and without judgement. Lots of guys, even straight ones, have had some same-sex sexual encounters in their life. It doesn’t make them gay - it is something that ‘guys do’ just like many girls also have same-sex experiences at some point in their lives.
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