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Torn Between my Husband and my ex
Here is a very brief overview of my past with my ex. I dated him in high school and his parents ended up taking him out of school to be home schooled. It broke my heart and I thought of him everyday. I ended up dating another guy and ended up marring him. We have been together for 13 years and married for 8.
Just recently, my ex and I have re-communicated and for me it was a love at first sight all over again. My husband knew how I felt about this man over the past 13 years and okayed for me to see him. My ex and I immediately clicked and we have way more in common then my husband and I. We have the same interest in music, outlook on life and are adventurous. I am also happy that he can talk to me about the good, the bad and the ugly about him. I know he hides nothing from me, because he's told me some pretty in depth stuff.
Anyways, I know him and I rushed things too quickly and ended up sleeping together soon after meeting up again with my husbands approval. I thought he was pushing me away when in fact he didn't want me to regret him for not allowing me to do so. We rushed in and old feelings came back. I have decided to stop sleeping with him and work on the friendship part to make sure I don't make a mistake by leaving my marriage to go to something that may not work. I do love my ex dearly and enjoy the bond we do have together. I feel like him and I really are the true Bella and Edward. I remember reading Twilight series before I seen my ex again and cried because I wish I had had my happily ever after with him.
I feel like my hubby is the second best and that my ex and I really have a very special connection. He does not hide anything from me and I know this to be true because he wouldn't have said some of the things that he has. I asked him if we could work on the friend part and see where it goes. My husband told me that later on down the road if my ex and I still click then he wouldn't stop me and not because he doesn't want me, because he doesn't want me to not be happy. He and my ex both said that if it turns out that my ex and I are destined for each other that it's important that my husband becomes my friend and he still be in my life because we are good friends and we also have a son together.
I just want to end the lover part with my ex and be his friend to make sure this is what is truly what we want and not just based on lust or new sparks. We know all new relationships have these moments and they die out eventually.
It also allows me to re evaluate my marriage.
I need some advice on this topic.
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To start with the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Then when you get there and look back the grass that you left suddenly looks a little greener.
I see a big gaping hole in this story you wrote, that being what has the ex been doing for the last 13 years. All you said was he has told you some pretty deep stuff. That does not tell me anything by which to advise you on.
I think your husband is being very generous here with his allowing you to find out what it is you want. I don't know too many men that would give their wives permission to sleep with another man, especially one that could cause the end of his marriage.
My suggestion is that you seek professional marriage counselling. That at first you and your husband attend and when the therapist asks the ex be brought in as well.
If it is of any help. I would tell the ex, it was nice to see you and experience some old desires. I married the man I now love, the father of my child. If we cannot just be friends then you will once again have to leave my life.
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You pretty much already know what you want by what you've said above, If you want to be with this dream guy then do the RIGHT thing and divorce your husband. Although you have your husbands approval what you are doing is wrong, You are married. Technically, Continuing to see another man while married is leading your husband on. Divorce him and then once it's finalized your free to do whatever you want.
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