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should i stay or should i go?
Hi, i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months now, and we're very serious. We've talked about marriage and living together forever, and i've never been so sure about being with someone. We may be young but i know for a fact that i could be with him forever.
Anyways, my problem is, my two worst enemies are both his most obsessive ex girlfriends. multiple times have i caught him still talking/flirting with other girls including them, but also not on just his part, they're also the ones who engage. it's been months since something like this has happened, but recently when i was away he was at a party and one of the girls happened to be there. rumors started to spread and there was a bunch of he said she said. but now i know for a fact that he was talking to her and offering her a ride home and trying to hang out with the other girl as well. i told him the last time something like this happened that this time, we were over and there was nothing he could do to stop it. but when we were talking about it, after he picked me up from work, i told him we were over and i was going to get his stuff so he could take it back. but he chased after me and grabbed a hold of me and told me how much i meant to him and he literally couldnt live without me. he was bawling his eyes out and said earlier that day when i texted him and told him we were over and that i didnt even want to see him that he sat down at work and cried his eyes out. i've never seen him so upset before, i didn't know what to do. so i just decided to lay it off for now. but i feel like im betraying myself and im disappointed that i couldnt follow through on my word..
sorry if this is too long, i just want to know what anyone else would do in this sort of situation if they truly love someone as much as i love him...and if you think i'm making the right decision by staying with him. thank you very much for any replies, its greatly appreciated <3
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First of all, how old are you? That would help out a lot, too.
Honestly, from what you're telling me about your boyfriend, he doesn't sound like he's being a good one. You guys been together for 9 months and like you said, you're both very serious about the relationship; you want to get married and live together. While he's telling you this, he's out flirting/trying to hangout with his ex girl fiends. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with still being friends with your ex's. But, when you're flirting with them and trying to bring them home, when you already have a girlfriend who you "love are care about", there is something wrong. You don't mess around with peoples feelings, especially when you're so in love with him. I highly suggest having a serious talk to him. Let him know everything; tell him how you're feeling about him and his ex's, how he's always flirting with them and wanting to hangout with them. Tell him how uncomfortable it makes you feel and that you wish he would change. Explain to him that this is the last and final chance he will be getting, for he can't mess with your feeling anymore. You don't deserve what he is doing to you. There are many guys out there that is all about that one special girl, and when you find him, he won't be doing what this guy is doing to you, he'll be treating you like a Princess...and that's what you need.
EDIT: Since you gave him so many chances, he should defiantly know what he should/can't do. He should respect the fact that you don't want him around those two girls, and if he doesn't, you're better off without him. :o)
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Don't let him emotionally blackmail you into staying together. All you are doing is teaching him that it's ok for him to mess around because all he has to do is turn on the waterworks and you'll come running back. If he couldn't live without you he wouldn't be risking your relationship ending by hanging out with all these other girls. In my experience, once a cheat, always a cheat. If you really love this guy then give him one last chance - but if anything happens, you leave. Make sure he knows what the consequences are.
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