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Is it good to be forced into independence by friends or not?
I'm 18 i dont really have that much friends i have an attitude problem and might act a bit childish at times getting mad so easily but i dont hold grudges but i have more behavioral problems like the worst is talking and acting without thinking at most times which eventually call a thing where you get caught up with the situation thats usually how it is i still live with my family my mom still goes to me to school even thought im in college but thats because of the danger that i've been in before in my younger days they are worried that worse things might come so now im pretty much looking like im dependent on them to protect me. my friends they hate me for my attitude and say as thought and think that i am only using them im not really a people person im more of being the person who just waits till someone talks to me than me approching them so they hate that too sometimes i have fun with them but sometimes i dont, sometimes i feel as if i am left alone.....like they are the only ones involved and i am just set aside but they dont know or notice it they only think its because of my childish attitude that i act to stay away from them but it is infact that i felt that i am being pushed away they also try and change me to become independent but yet i dont feel as though i am ready yet i want to be but the feeling is like i am being forced into it makes it that i dont wanna go with it... so eventually they give up and say that they cant take it anymore that i am the bad guy i admit i might not be a person who you want to hang with but still i am not using anyone i treat them as my friends but its as if they can accept me for me but they have their own faults too and yet i am the only one who they hate i guess i dont really belong to this group im very negative so i am really losing hope and just want to stay away from them but is it really worth it cause there are consequences to this act i know i really need your advice please help me i would really appreciate it and be grateful
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It is a good thing to become independent whether your friends are involved or not. You need to learn to approach life and relationships in a disciplined, focused way. You need to be proactive in your life, rather than being reactive. That means looking at where you want to go in life and making decisions and behaving in ways that will help you achieve those goals. You need to seek out friendships that are healthy (and it doesn't sound like your current friendships have a healthy dynamic). You need to think through the likely outcomes of your impulses and respond to them accordingly.
Find people who are succeeding in life, people who are doing well in their careers, professional relationships, personal relationships, etc. Watch what these people do and how they act and emulate that. Talk to them about how they approach life and listen very carefully to them.
Self-discipline often requires hard work, but few worthwhile things in life come easy. If you want to win a race, you have to run harder and faster than the other people. To run harder and faster, you have to condition your body, learn efficient running techniques, eat right, and when you become tired, you just keep on running. The same principle applies in other areas of life.
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