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Feeling forced to grow up too quickly
I'm a twelve year old girl and I feel like I have to just change my life completely. This one guy I was friends with in fourth grade told me how he felt about me, and I rejected him. I suddenly just hated everything about him. And I ran away. That was in fifth grade. So I've finished my sixth grade year and it's just gotten worse on my part. I don't know who's my friend and who is not. There's this really nice, cute guy I know but I don't know whether I like him or not because as soon as I forget him, I see him again and I just think about him more. Also, I feel like a lot of the kids in my grade talk about sex and it really scares me. Some days I just have a nervous breakdown just trying to figure everything out. Please help, thank you. I really appreciate it.
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You are 12, You are going through the change of a child to a teenager. This time in your life everything seems overwhelming and confusing. Right now, Just focus on you and take things one step a time. Don't worry about guys right, Sex is not everything either. Sex comes later down the line when you are older and ready. I know that everyone seems to be talking about it but you need to realize that you are actually one of the smart ones for knowing you aren't ready. Look at what is happening, People are having children at 13 years old and I can promise you that is NOT the smart choice to make at such a young age. I didn't end up having sex until I was almost 18 and I don't regret it one bit!! :) Don't worry about it, Just focus on you and get through middle school that is what you should be doing anyway. Have fun being a kid and enjoy it, Your true friends will stick by you through thick and thin and that is how you know who your true friends are. The ones that are there for you. Remember it's one day at a time that's all it really is and things will get better. Just worry about you and nobody else
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This time in your life can be very confusing. You are just starting to mature into a woman, and it seems like everything is up against you.
I remember feeling like you, and now I'm 18 and I can tell you things get better.
You feel like you have to make all these decisions right now, but you don't. No one is forcing you to like a boy or make something happen with him.
It's okay to think about a guy, and not really be sure if you like him. One day you will get to know a guy, and you will find that you have feelings for him. Maybe it's butterflies in your tummy, or he makes you sweat when you walk into the room. This is something special, and it will happen on its own time. I didn't start dating til my junior year of high school! Everyone does it on their own time. I find that if you wait a little bit longer, then you get to have more mature relationships. When people 'date' when they are your age, it's more like acting out what a relationship should be. It's not about the kissing or even sex, it's about caring for another person and listening to each other.
When it comes to friends, girls can be really catty at this age. They are obsessed with drama and attention, and they don't care about the feelings of others. If you can find a few good friends who you can really trust, that's great. If not, it will come in time. Once people get out of middle school, you'll find that it's a lot easier to find genuine friends and separate them from the not so sincere ones.
It's normal for kids your age to be curious about sex. What also scares me is when really young, immature kids have sex. You are not emotionally or physically ready at the age of 12 or 13 to have sex. There are going to be some people at your school who have sex now, but that doesn't mean you have to. You can wait until you are ready. Trust me, if you go into high school not a virgin, people will think your easy, not cool. I've never been peer pressured into having sex, or pressured by a guy. It's a personal decision, no one is going to say you're weird or scared if you don't want to do it. A lot of people leave high school still virgins. There is no rush. If anyone tries to pressure you, they probaby have their own issues and insecurities.
My best advice to you is to relax. There is no rush to figure out your feelings. You have the rest of your life to do that! When you are 12, you are going to make up your mind and change it a million times, and that's fine! Let it come naturally.
Good luck,
-Abby
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