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I feel like I have no personality.
So most people have a personal style, a look, etc.
I feel like I don't. On some days, I'll look I crawled out of the deepest depths of Hot Topic and on others my look will be more Forever 21. I like my band tees and I like being girly.
This is just one example. I can't help but feel like I am a clone of EVERYTHING that's out there. Everything that I see that looks really cool, I suddenly want to do.
For example, I like to draw a lot. I've been doing it since I was a kid. But my style is EXTREMELY influenced by my surroundings. For example, I was a big fan of one graphic novel for a while; my drawing style soon became very similar to the art in the book. The way I draw people heavily reflects what graphic novel I am reading at the time. And now, since I don't have any favorites at the moment, my art is kind of a mixture of my favorite elements from the art in books I have read.
But ti's not just how I draw that's influenced. If I'm on an art website and see a cool painting or drawing, my brain goes, "gee, that looks nice. I should do it." As a result, my art style is never consistent; it pulls heavily from techniques I've seen others do.
I saw some nice photography on the internet; I am now obsessed with photography.
I watch a lot of makeup tutorials on YouTube; I decided that I'm going to be a makeup guru as well (I changed my mind after I filmed my first video though; I'm not charismatic enough). But still, their makeup skills and all the makeup they own inspired me to own my own collection and do more with my eyes than the typical eyeliner & mascara deal.
The biggest influence, however, is on my career goals. I still dont' know what I want to do in the future and I'm already in college. I'd be an artist if I could, but that doesn't bring in enough money to live even comfortably. I've changed my major SO MANY TIMES because I can't decide. And each time, I've changed it to something, not because I was very interested in it, but because it seemed cool, I guess. For example, in my first term of freshman year I was gonna go into aerospace engineering, just because designing aircraft would be fun. I also considered architecture. And psychiatry. I even thought about going premed so I could be a surgeon. And now I'm majoring in computer science.
The problem is that I'm not a dumb kid that just hopelessly goes for dreams that won't come true. Truth is, I'm SMART and good at a lot of things. I'm amazing at math. I'm great at the sciences, if I study. I'm a good writer. I'm a great programmer. I'm good at putting on makeup, I'm good at photoshop, and I'm good at art. So I feel like I COULD be all those things that seem "cool" at the time. But the fact that I bounce around from idea to idea makes me feel like I don't raelly have a personality, like I'm just a summary of what's out there. And it's not that I'm a conformist-type, either. I don't really go with the flow, I don't follow trends that much, and I sure as hell don't buy into every commercial I watch on TV. It's just that when I see someone being successful at something they do, I feel the need to try and do what they're doing. And that makes me feel..sort of incomplete. Anyway, am I normal? Is it OKAY to feel this way? What am I doing wrong?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
There is nothing wrong with you.Seems to me like you have an amazing capacity to learn,something that not many people have and for this you should be grateful.however,i do feel like i can relate to your confusion,it's difficult to find your passion in life especially with so many possibilities out there.but life is about making sacrifices and what i suggest is that you define what you want in life and where you want to end up.its one of those million dollar questions that you can't ignore and simply have to answer.life is short,one needs direction otherwise it will have meant nothing in the end.Money may be important in making your decision but the best things in life are all free,money will put you you in a fancy car and all that but it won't buy you happiness and i'm sure you've heard this before.just do whatever makes you feel complete,
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Being easily influenced is a part of life, especially young people. We are all very impressionable and it is normal to be influence by what surrounds you. As for art and photography it is common to copy and mimic what inspires you before you find your own unique way of expressing yourself ( even if that means incorporating all that you love). You are allowed to change your mind a million times before you chose what you want. being open to different things doesn't mean you have no personality it means that your personality is so dynamic that the thought of one job for the rest of your life doesn't satisfy you.
You are being a normal human being. In my opinion you done seem simple or a clone at all. You strike me as someone with a lot of interests and a person that likes to express themselves in different ways.
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You are unique, You like to explore and that is a personality.
You wanting to go from something straight out of Hot topic to forever 21.........That is personality too.
Your personality is you wanting to freely express yourself, I do the same thing. One day I'll be wearing a shaggy tee shirt and bagged jeans with chains on the side and the next I could be wearing a nice shirt with a clean pair of jeans.
Be proud of who you are, Everything you said above sounds like someone who is free spirited and likes to do what interest them. You like to try new things instead of sticking to just one and I personally find that pretty cool. There's nothing wrong with you, You just like to try things.
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