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i want to stop self harming
when i was 10 yrs old i cut my wrist for the first time. it was only to see how it felt, then i did it again when i was 12. my mom was dating this guy who abused her&i didn't like it at all. i even told her&all she said to me was 'be nice'. he moved in&i was furious, they both fought all the time&everyone else hated him. i've been self harming since the day he moved in.
im now 14&just recently cut&burned my right arm. i want to stop but it feels like im addicted
please tell me how i can stop.?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First of all, I apologize for the situation you're in. I'm gonna give you the same exact advice I gave to two people here before you. I know what it's like to feel like you have nothing left. I've been there and I've cut before. And ouch that hurts, but at least you have something to feel other than numb right??? Wrong :)There's plenty of other things you can do that are constructive towards your health rather than degrading.
Quick short story.....The first time I cut was two years ago. At the time I didn't know why I was doing it, but when I looked hard enough I knew. Cutting myself made me get even more down, angry and depressed. I decided I didn't want to live like that anymore and figured everyone would be better without me. So, after I was done cutting I took some pills to permanently end myself. And my little sister out of all people saved me. When I woke up I was in my bed. She was there. I felt terrible for the examlpes I was letting her grow up with. It made me feel selfish and somehow even more misunderstood. But, she's much stronger than me. She took out my stash of books I'd been writing and working on for years. She took out my drawings and my books. She opened one of the books to an unfinished page, handed me a pen and said, "Write." From that day on, everytime I feel intensely depressed or down and sorrowful I pick up my paper and pen and write a story, true or fale, about anything anywhere. I've slipped up a few times and went back to relying on cutting but when I did I remembered that I have something to live for and something to offer the world through my words on paper.
I don't know what hobbies you have that you love to do, but I'm sure there's something. Think only about things that make you truely happy and use those as a substitute for cutting. For me that was writing and drawing. If I'm sad I'll listen to music too. One thing about that though...don't listen to songs with lyrics involving unpleasant things while you're upset. It does nothing to help you out it only makes your mood worse...but then again everyone's different.
Please try something more constructive though. And if you really can't find anything better to help with your problems then I'd suggest talking to someone you trust with your heart. Or if there really is no one you can trust maybe talk to a councilor. But, if you can....find somewhere that makes you feel safe ( bedroom with a lock, the park, the zoo, your car, the bathroom, ANYWHERE that makes you feel welcome and comforted...) and do what you love to do other than cutting. Read a book, create cartoons, learn to play a new instrument, sing, make lyrics to songs*constructive lyrics no depressing stuff*, cook, make mini models of larger objects, take apart machines and rebuild them into something new, make your own website, start a blog, take photos and videos of things you love, scrapbooking, collecting rocks or different varieties of plants, style and cut hair(not wrists) paint and design nails, draw new clothes designs for fashion models on a runway, build bird houses, re-arrange your room, volunteer at the animal shelter, volunteer at the zoo or childrens care area. I hope my story and some of these ideas helped you out at least a little bit :) you may right me back with any other questions you have if you want *stay hopeful. There's always something you can do to stay hopeful.
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I'm a boy and I once reached a stage in my life where I didn't understand my emotional feelings so I turned to the physical harm because that is simple to understand. I knew why I felt that pain and how got it and that is what you should do first, figure out how your living situation makes you feel with this other man and your mom. Once that is done you'll feel the need to but and harm yourself less everytime but I must warm you those emotions are like Stefano DiMera they'll never truly leave you but will vanish from time to time. Now most importantly you have to take care not to experience vastly contrasting emotions in short spaces of time that could lead to suicidal thoughts you might be telling yourself never but even I have had them and if it wasn't for the fear of punishment for such an act I would have already. Find the one thing that gives you meaning so you have something to calm you down when those thoughts bros up in your head.
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You are right cutting is an addictive behavior. I know I used to do it. And its hard to overcome. Just think of other things you can do to cope with your feelings. When I first stopped it was so hard not to go back. So I would do things like take a washable red marker when I got angry and kind of replaced cutting with drawing the lines or cuts on instead of actually harming myself. Also I threw out all of my razors, sissors, and sharp objects. Once I was so angry and so upset I wanted to cut but I just grabbed a knife and peice of wood that had fallen from a tree and cut it up. Slowly the urge will go away. Try writing in a diary when you get upset or go outside and kick a ball. When you feel the urge just run up to someone and ask them to talk to you or stay with you and not talk if you dont want to. Having someone there will make the cutting urge go away. I am so glad you are going to stop. Good luck
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