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"Best Friend" of three years has always liked me, but I missed my chance?
So- theres a friend of mine who Ive known for three years, Im 18, hes 20, we met in high school and when we talk its all day, every day. Everyone we meet thinks we're perfect for each other, and hes asked me out a few times over the course of our friendship, but I wasnt ready for that and I didnt want to lead him on, so I made sure to keep it honest and simple. So three years later he starts dating an acquaintance of mine, and about a month into it I realize; Im graduating and Im ready for that kind of relationship. So I tell him how I feel. While he told me he wasnt breaking up with her, (who I might add, screwed him after 3 weeks. hes 1 of 4 guys. Shes 18.) if they ever were to break up thered be no one else out there for him, (and a maybe in the future we could be together but- line) and continued to talk about how weve never been "just friends" for the next two hours before we had to go to bed. The next day we fought over the fact that I wont play #2 when he obviously likes me, and I dont deserve to be a back-up plan. The fight ended with a resolution of we're just friends, and shes my gf. I purposefully ignore him the next day, and the next morning, he tells the gf. Great. So after a week or so of barely talking- gf goes on vacation for a month. I text him like usual (although I am always making the first move) and things are normal, with him dropping some hints and using the 'best friend' thing a lot. But he never stalls the conversations- we actually have GREAT conversation. I stop about two days before she comes back. Gf comes back from vaca, I try to text him about day two after shes back- barely any reply. I finally just get mad, because he calls himself my 'best friend' but ignores me, and havent really talked to him since.
I know these two and I highly doubt theyre compatible. Weve gone through stages of not talking after I had written him off and hes come back twice before. So my question is- any ideas what the future may hold?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Do you really like this guy enough to have a relationship with him or are you jealous that another girl has taken your friend's time from you? That is what I think is really going on here. The moment you don't have to compete with him is the moment when you will love interest.
I think he seems you trying to manipulate and monopolize him for your own purposes and rightly resents it.
Look, you are too young anyway to be tied down with someone. Go to college, date lots of different people, live overseas after graduation and then if it is meant to be you guys can hook up again once you are actually mature adults who know better what they actually want.
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Dear "Best Friend" of three years has always liked me, but I missed my chance?,
There will be other chances. The advice you have gotten so far is good. However, I might add that he can no longer be considered your best friend, he is the Girlfriend's Boy Friend now. You have no claim to him. The world does not wait around for you to be ready. Either you are ready or not.
Luck is when preparedness meets opportunity.
Your goal is to be ready when they break up and opportunity arises. Do not seriously date anyone if you want to be available when they are no longer together. There is no telling what keeps them together, but if it is as you say, they'll be history soon enough.
Do not 'wait' for him, but be available when he comes calling on his soul mate. Do not let his lapse in judgement, and character throw you off. He may be just getting what he needs from her, since he was not getting it from you. That is often how men accomplish things when dealing with sex, relationships and life in general.
Read a book 'The proper care and feeding of husbands' . . . you can probably find it on a PDF download torrent. It will prepare you for what you need to do to get him, and keep him. This book will help you do that with any man you want.
If you were friends with the girl before they began dating, you should continue that relationship as well. You are paying the price for acting jealous. Your actions have caused him to pull away when she is around, and made her aware of your intentions. You may have lost both of these people as friends if you do not apologize for acting like a jealous baby. LOL, it is not uncommon for this to happen when you have your best friend pulled away by another female.
Once you apologize, they will have no reason to 'band' together against you. An outside attack will always push them closer together.
Your best bet is to apologize and approve of the relationship. Do not give them any reason to believe otherwise, then read that book so you are ready when he is bored with her and comes running to you.
Be patient grasshopper, your day will come. In the mean time, let him make his mistake with her, be there for him when he dismisses her, and show him how a woman treats a man. Trust me, once you have engaged the techniques in the book I mentioned, he will be ruined for other women, forever. Anyone after you will seem like a slob, who knows nothing about men.
Good Luck
Doktor Tammy
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Right now the boy is in a relationship so the best thing to do out of respect for him and his gf is to step back and just be friends... if they dont work out then try again you never know what the future may hold but if he really likes you and if he and this girl break up you may have a good chance good luck and best wishes
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