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"You had no right or reason to approach his wife"


Question Posted Thursday June 30 2011, 1:17 pm

Those are your words in your advice response. I didn't approach anybody. She approached me!

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Razhie answered Thursday June 30 2011, 1:31 pm:
EDIT:
I'm not feeling badly here hun. You are the one who is upset and trying to defend and excuse herself.

The fact that you are feeling this upset, and trying so hard to defend your feelings (while refusing to acknowledge that it is your behaviour, not your feelings, with are the problem) should be a pretty good sign that you did not behave perfectly.

Think about it. You are not blameless here. Feeling something doesn't magically turn the things you do into morally correct actions.

--


Did she approach you and demand to do know if you were in love with her husband?

Unless she did that, then YOU approached this inappropriate topic of conversation.

And even if she did approach you and demand an answer to that question, YOU still had a responsibility to consider how your actions would affect, and harm, others.

It would have been more honest to tell her "There is nothing going on between your husband and I. He turned me down." then to express your feelings for him. It would have reflected the true facts of the situation with respect to his choices and their marriage, instead of selfishly putting forward your own agenda and trumpeting on about your precious feelings.

You are responsible for what you do and say. Approaching a married man is wrong. Talking to his wife about your desire for her husband is wrong. Accept it. You behaved poorly. Perhaps other people behaved poorly and made mistakes too! But thier mistakes don't make your behavoir any less wrong.

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