|
If you're in a serious relationship is it okay to look at personal ads?
My boyfriend and I are about to get engaged, live together, and are talking marraige.
I found out hes recently been looking at w4m casual encounters on craigslist. (I found this out by accident). I asked him about it, and he said that it was just like porn and harmless. He has also upped his porn watching lately, though our sex life hasnt suffered.
He is stressed/depressed, and he also says its stress relief.
However I think theres a difference between porn and real women on craigslist, especially since he has replied to these before he met me.
He said he'd try and stay away from those sites, but then I found out he'd gone on them again.
Hes apologized, and said it was just looking.
This whole thing has shaken my confidence in us and though we've been discussing it and I know hes planning to ask me to marry him, now I'm not so sure I should say yes.
What do you think? I know he isnt currently cheating on me, as hes with me whenever hes not at work, and when hes at work he calls me from the work line, he gets no lunch breaks, etc etc. Hes off at 9, home at 9.15.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'd be concerned if he is going as far as responding to craigslist ads, This is were it draws the line. Your boyfriend is not being a typical man looking at porn, Your boyfriend is looking to get some ass through people on craigslist.
You can try and do what Mangy suggested, Couples counseling. However, My main concern is the fact that you have confronted your boyfriend about his habit and he still continued to do whatever the hell he pleased. This is where my hopes of couples counseling possibly working looks grim.
My main question is this; (especially since he has replied to these before he met me. ) Now if this is before he met you then there really isn't a big deal about it. However, If your boyfriend is still to this day looking at ads on craigslist and is still responding to them then you've got yourself a red flag and need to express how you feel again. If he isn't willing to work on it and stop looking for ass elsewhere then you really need to curb stomp him. You are right, There really is no difference between simply wanting to look a porn then cheating with a complete stranger. Lay off the marriage talk until you both are on the same page because if he continues this crap.....Then it is better to know where you stand before you walk down that isle.
]
Going to couples counseling before marriage might help you both work through this.
]
More Questions: |