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i love him but he keeps hurting me.
So ive been in love with this guy for over a year. we have dated a couple times, but have always stayed involved. we are pretty good friends and he knows im in love with him. and i dont think he loves me back. which is fine with me, he doesnt have to love me back. but he told me he wanted to go back out, and was really sweet about it and everything. but i told him to give me a few days to think it over. so while i was thinking he went and slept with some chick i hated in the first place (i despise her now). hes always doing stuff like that. like hooking up with me then asking someone else out the same day. i know it would be smart to stop trying and give him up for good. but i love him with all my heart. hes the only person who makes me genuinly happy. and i would do anything, be anything for him. what do i do? continue to give him my heart or try to move on? and if i should move on how? how do i stop loveing him?
-female, 16
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Here's the deal, if you stick with this guy, you will eventually come to hate him, and probably yourself, too, for wasting your time with him. You're in love with a fantasy version of him. Sooner or later you will fully wake to the reality that he is a manipulator, a player, and at times spiteful.
You need to gain some self-respect and stop allowing any man to treat you this way. There are men out there who will treat you respectfully. The only man (really, to be honest, he is merely a boy and has a LOT of growing up to do) who makes you genuinely happy is someone who hooks up with you when it is convenient for him, and also hooks up with any other gal that happens to be convenient at other times? That's sad. I think you need to explore why you find someone so appealing who treats you with such disdain.
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Stop. Stop stop stop what you are doing. He is not interested in you. Think about it, in the same breath that you said he's the only one that makes you happy,you also said he slept with someone you hate. Did that make you happy?
I'm going to sound like an old fart when I say this, but this guy clearly, CLEARLY, is not the right guy for you. Don't get stressed out over it, that just means someone else is. Let this one go. You might love him with all of your heart now, but chances are you'll love someone else with all of your heart in a couple of years,and it will be a completely different love. You can't just flip the love switch, so to speak, to off and be able to move on, it's going to suck for sure, but its something you have to do. You know this. You just needed us to give you an anonymous kick in the pants. Be strong. You can do it.
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