|
humorist-workshop
wanting/hating/missing him
I'm a fifteen year old girl, will be a junior. (I'll be sixteen in less than two weeks). And for about three years I've been really close with this guy. We'll call him Matt. (He will be a senior, seventeen). When I say close, I mean like really good friends. Now, last year I dated this tool (one that I asked you a question about) who was a total dick to me. He pressured/forced me into a lot of (sexual) stuff and was an all around jerk. When the dick dumped me in a text after seven months and proceeded to jerk me around all summer, Matt was there to tell me I didn't deserve it. There was one night in particular that he let me cry on his shoulder for about two hours and he basically just let me spill my guts to him. I've told him stuff about me that I haven't even told my best girl friends... But at the time I only had friendly feelings towards him and he had "a thing" with another girl. When school started we both were dating other people. Around winter break though we both broke up with our S.O. around the same time. And I PROMISE it had nothing to do with Matt and I having feeligns for each other. We weren't like that. However... during winter break we started texting every single day. We continued to get closer and closer, and I'm not going to lie. I started to like him. But he would constantly say things like "you're like a sister to me". But it would be casually mentioned, like we never talked about us ever being more than friends and we never discussed our feelings so I have no idea if he even had any or if he knew I did... But since then we still talk almost every single day. He asked me to prom but we didn't kiss or anything. He is extremely flirty with me though. He has a really dirty sense of humor and is much bigger than me so he often jokes around by like hitting on me or picking me up and messing around with me. It's all very confusing
The thing is.. He basically dumped me. Haha I know we weren’t official or anything like that but I really did start developing feelings for the kid. I honestly couldn’t help it and for the longest time I was even in denial about it. My friends would tell us we were “in love” and we would both heavily deny it though I did kind of get the impression he did have feelings =/. I DON’T KNOW what I was thinking, never telling him. I guess I was scared? Well trust me I regret it. I guess I just never thought he’d start talking to another girl. And the line between sibling-love and regular love? Hahah um.. It’s just he would be sooo protective of me and almost possessive? But then at the same time he’d like all over me haha. Even though he denies ever flirting with me.. Anway. Since he’s been talking to this girl he’s basically been ignoring me. I haven’t seen him in two weeks. He doesn’t text me anymore and when I tried to start a few conversations he stopped replying. But the other day he texts me DEMANDING that I tell him about this guy that he thinks I have a thing with. Which.. I kind of do.. I don’t know I’ve just been talking with him while Matt’s been ignoring me. But I told Matt.. “you don’t get to just ignore me and then demand to hear stuff like this. That’s not how it works” and Matt says “I never ignored you. We just haven’t talked” and I said “Yeah cause I stopped trying to get you to respond or see me..” and he said “Haha whatever, sorry. Now tell me.” And I wasn’t going to! Firstly, I have no idea what me and that other guy are. I don't really like him but he seems kinda interested but I really didn't want to talk to Matt about it so I basically just told him I didn't know. Cause that was the only thing he wanted to talk about.. it was like he didn’t even want to know how I was doing or what’s been going on.. Just that. And it pissed me off. And it kind of just added to all the hurt of basically just not being good enough for him. That I’ve been around him sooo long and he’s never taken the step with me that he took with this girl he’s known for like.. a month. That I just wasn’t the right material.. It pisses me off even more because this girl is the complete opposite of me. She’s like that tall sexy brunette, muscular, strong and intimidating and I’m pretty short and thin/little and weak. I probably look like a little blonde ditz. She's also in his grade.. it’s just killing me. I feel like such shit.. I miss him SOO much. I lost the guy I care about and my best friend and my self confidence is shot.. I just don’t even know what to do with myself. I wanna be strong.. and I don't want to talk with him.. If were just meant to be freinds than I defintiely don't want to ruin that because that's all we have left.. if I even have that. What do I do??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It sounds like he still has feelings and it also sounds like he is very possessive like your his and no can touch you while he is with someone. And the fact that he said he never ignored you then says whatever thats disrespect the question is do you want to be with someone that is demanding or treats your like an equal and tells you eveything and wants to be with you and not act possessive when you tlk to other guys but its ok for him to tlk to other girls. you desever a better guy then what you described he sounds like he has changed alot and never will be the guy you care about. if your willing to tlk about something that hurts bad and willing to take advice that shows bravery, indepentice, integrity which are some amazing personality traits that make you a good person that deffienlty makes you strong. dont think your not never think little of your self cause you can be anyone you want to be. hope this helps
]
More Questions: |