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What is he really feeling?
I'm 22/f - boyfriend is 24
I was in the U.S. and my bf was with me there. About a week ago, I left and traveled to visit my family about 7000 miles away from him. I will go back to him in 2 months. A couple of days ago he told me that he feels left and unloved because I left to go on this family vacation thing.
But here's the thing:
1. He encouraged me to go on a vacation and spend it with my family.
2. He's making no effort to Skype with me.
3. He's making me feel very bad for wanting to spend time with my family.
Some have told me that he's just missing me and this is the early difficult stage where he misses my presence next to him, my hand in his, etc. What do you think? I am ready to give more info if needed.
Thanks for your time!
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Your boyfriend is being childish.
Encouraging you to go, but now making no effort to Skype and complaining violently about you going, is a form of emotional bullying. It is not nice, or kind, or fair.
Now, that doesn't mean he is an evil, horrible person. You may, if you know him well and trust him deeply, want to give him some time to deal with the separation and come around. To see if this is just an extreme reaction to the sudden change. However, if his attempts to 'punish you' by withholding contact and claiming you don't love him don't stop in the very near future, then you need to tell him firmly that he is out of line.
Of course he should be able to share his feelings with you, but sharing your feelings is not the same as as telling your girlfriend that she is responsible for your feelings.
You are not responsible for his emotions - he is.
Although being upset is understandable - withholding contact and attempting to punish you for taking a 2-month trip is not acceptable behaviour. Your relationship is unlikely to survive if he can’t find healthier ways to deal with the separation.
It is possible, that that is what he really wants: He might want out of the relationship, and this is just a convenient excuse.
It's up to you how much you are willing to accept and be understanding of, but please do not be afraid of getting quite firm and remind him that although you love him and he is very important, he is not the only important thing in your life, and it is unfair for him to demand to be or to punish you in the moments when you have other priorities.
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it could be tha5t he's just missing you, and it most likely is. however, it could also be - and i'm being painfully honest here, but it happenen to a friend of mine - that he is feeling quilty for doing something he shouldn't have and is trying to convince himself that its your fault because you "abandoned" him.
the best thing you can do, and i know this is what everyone always says, but talk to him, if you're away for two months, you better get used to talking about serious things over the phone.
Good luck and i hope he does just miss you
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