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my bf
hi i am 14 and my boyfriend wants to finger me, he told me we will stay together if i let him but am i the right age or do i just say no ?
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I am sorry I didn't see this question before. I don't know what you decided to do, but one thing I can tell you for future reference; anytime a guy tells you he will stay with you if you do something, he is lying. First, someone just can't make those kind of promises because they can't predict what will happen or how they will feel in the future. Alot of times, guys like the "chase," and once they catch what they want, they move on to another chase.
Another thing....there is no "right age." It's something you feel within yourself. I had sex for the first time when I was fifteen, and I would say now that I felt it was too early and I wish I had waited. The funny thing is, the second guy I had sex with was a really great person, and I was only sixteen. I remember that we were together for about six months, and I really wished he would have been my first, and I was mad at myself for wasting my virginity on someone who I thought I liked at the time, but ended up realizing he wasn't worth it. I guess this is my long-winded way of saying that if I were you, I would not even consider having sex with someone I didn't date for at least six months. Then, even if the two of you don't end up getting married and being together forever, at least you shared lots of good times and moments, and you really got to know eachother.
As far as foreplay...I would put a time limit on that, too. Maybe you could make a deal with yourself that you won't do anything below the waist until you are with him for at least two months. I know it is kind of hard to follow through with because you will worry that he won't be interested in staying with you when other girls are going farther sooner, but I promise you that allowing him to touch your body will not make him stay with you. It will only make it harder for you when you do break up. Sometimes it's hard because you are at the age where you are getting tingly feelings and you want to fool around because it feels good. This is why you have to learn your own body and how to touch yourself. All people masturbate; first, for a woman it cleans her vagina (when you have an orgasm, your muscles contract, and your vagina pushes fluid down and out, cleaning as it goes), and second, you have to get to know your own body before you can really share it with anyone else. Whatever happens, though, love yourself and treat your body as a beautiful, precious gift.
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