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What should I do? Am I hurting them or him?
I am 15/f and have beed dating this guy, we'll call him Noah, for a little over a year and a half now. He is the best boyfriend I have ever had, he is sweet, generous, funny and caring. He can be a bit rebellious sometimes. He drinks a bit, and ditches class but this hasnt effect me at all. He is 18 years old. I just recently introduced him to my family. Actually I just recently told them I was dating someone. After they told me I had to break up with him. They didnt like him, and none of my friends like him either. They all say he only wants me for my body, and he'll dump me when I give him my virginity. But he has only brought it up once, on our anniversery. I dont know what to do. Do i break up with him? I really like him and I dont wanna hurt him. Do you think that my parents are right?
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This is kinda tough because you should stand up for yourself but at the same time you should respect your parents.
Its not right when someone tells you that you need to break up with someone, even if you love them dearly. If your parents told you to drop out of school because they think its bad for you... would you?? if your parents told you to start drinking because it will help you with your problems.. would you?? if your parents say "break up with him"... would you?? My point is, they don't know him. You said yourself that you dated him for over a year and half. clearly, you know him WAY better than your parents, and even your friends. Your parents have no clue what he is truly like.. so are you going to let their ridiculous assumption about him get in the way between you 2??
You 2 have been dating for a year and half.. thats a pretty damn long time for a 15 year old.. clearly you 2 are a good couple together. Your parents have no idea what kind of person he is, so why does their opinion matter all of a sudden? Talk to them about it. Stand up for yourself. Let them know you dated him for a year and half. Yeah maybe he is a little bit of a bad boy, but tell your parents that his actions have no bad effect on you. If you must- tell them that instead of him being a bad influence on you, you're a good influence on him.
Now.. here's another thing to consider.. you don't want to disrespect your parents. You are still 15 and that is considered a minor. You do have to follow your parents rules. If you want your parents to respect you, then you need to respect your parents.
Its entirely your choice on what you decide to you. My personal opinion is that you keep dating him because it makes no sense to break up with him just because of someone's ridiculous opinion (especially since they have no clue what he is truly like). But then again, consider that if you continue dating him.. you could be disrespecting your parents. It depends on what your parents are like. Some parents will get extremely mad if a child doesn't do what the parents say. But some parents will just get upset and then forget about it later on. I dont know your parents, so you have to make that judgement for yourself.
Oh and 1 more thing.. You're a growing teenager. You've still got 3 more years of development. You're going to be experiencing different things like driving and sex and more mature things. Remember this- all parents, at some point, need to let go of their children and let them grow up. Maybe this situation is "that time" for your parents to realize that they need to let you grow up. When you're a teenager, its all about experiencing new things and trying out different things. This particular situation is about experiencing different types of guys. So regardless if you dump him now or later, you're learning about what types of guys you're interested in. Your parents have to realize that eventually, they won't have a say in your love life. When you're older, you can date whom ever you want and your parents wont force you to break up with him because "they dont approve".
The way I see it... its YOUR relationship. YOUR life. YOU make the decision. Yeah, your parents still get the upper hand since you're a minor, but that doesn't mean they can make every single decision for you. How are you supposed to grow up and experience things if they are always telling you what to do and how to do it?
Good luck and inbox me if you have more questions!
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Ah, every girl loves a bad boy. And your parents and your friends expressing disapproval of him probably makes him seem more dangerous to you and thus more alluring.
None of us have a clear picture of the guy aside from your description and the negative reaction of those around you about him. Without knowing what vibe your parents and friends are picking up about him, it is hard to give accurate advice.
But if you play with fire, at some point you will get burned. At some point, he is going to start pressing the sex issue as well because there are other women who love bad boys, too, and are more willing to jump in the sack with them. So you have to determine how you would feel if he pulled a pump and dump on you and how you would cope with it.
If that all seems a little more than you can handle then maybe you should break up with him and go out with more conventional guys. It's up to you. Just remember that you are the only one who can live your life and you need to always be in control of it, which means you don't do anything that would sabotage it or make it harder just to please someone else.
Also keep in mind that because your brain is still developing and will for at least another ten years, your preferences, thoughts and sensibility are going to evolve a lot during that time. So it's not really a good idea for teenagers to limit themselves to dating one person when they are your age. There is no hurry for you to settle down, so be flexible about all this.
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