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i think i love my girlfriend, but she is a little promiscuous
Ive been with my girlfriend for about 2 months, and we are both 20. We are sexually active.
And btw, we live in Toronto, a city where there are alot of clubs, bars, etc. So like, we live together in an apartment, and i would say that she is really attractive. I personally think she is, but she is hot to other guys too. Like when we go to bars together, all the guys stare at her ass. And sometimes i get jealous, especially when she acts all flirtacious by blowing them a kiss back. It sucks you know? I feel so small when a bunch of handsome buff guys hit on her at bars when i go to the bathroom. It seems like im a nerd dating a supermodel. And im not fat or gross or anything, im taller than her, slim, short haired, i dont look like .. you know "that shes out of my league" like i think im somewhat in her league. But she is so damn sizzling and you would think that is a good thing, but sometimes it SUCKS because i get so damn jealous when she talks to other guys.
When im alone at home, she always goes out dancing with her friends, and some of them are guys. And i dont wanna control her and be like, "no, i want you to be home". Like, i dont wanna be her father, i wanna be her man, to love her and stuff. I do love her, and she loves me. But i feel like she is right on the tip of my grasp and that i could lose her anytime since she could EASILY get any guy she wants, maybe a guy who is 10x better looking than me and who is also loaded-rich too. And im drowning in a pool of worry and jealousy. She is beautiful, but she is like, TOO beautiful. i want to stay with her. Help me?
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Dude, you are being totally worked. She is an egregious attention whore and you shouldn't be tied down at that age anyway. If you have any sense of dignity as a man you kick her out TODAY. To stay with this woman who is humiliating you in public (unless you have some kind of cuckold fetish) shows you as a needy, non-confident doormat. Those traits are not attractive to any woman that knows you and sees what is going on with your bimbo squeeze.
Dump her and date around. You need to get out and experience the world. Do that now or you will regret not doing it later. If she asks you why, just tell her that the relationship has hit its expiration date. Don't fall for the manipulative tactic of her crying or you are a dupe. Say sayonara and be done with it.
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yeah... thats not promiscuous. flirty would work in its place.
dude, she's with you for a reason. perhaps she doesn't like those other dudes, and just messes with them for fun. take a chill pill, relax, and everything will be fine. once you've gotten your zen, talk with her about how her behavior toward the other dudes at the bar makes you feel. if she cares for you, she'll stop doing it so much in front of you. I had a girl like that a while ago, I dealt with it by knowing for a fact, that I could beat the hell out of any of those dudes, and that she hated dudes like them.
tell you what, next weekend you should rent "she's out of my league" and watch it with your girlfriend. its a wonderful romantic comedy, you'll like it.
-Gunner
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First things first: Unless your girlfriend is sleeping with many other people, she isn’t promiscuous. Promiscuous doesn’t mean flirty or sexy, it means ‘Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners.’ And it’s a very, very harsh thing to call someone. From reading your full question, I don’t think it’s the word you meant to use to describe your girlfriend.
As for your actual problem: Talk to her.
Without asking her to change. Without telling her she is misbehaving. Without judging or controlling her.
Just talk to her, and tell her how you feel.
"I feel like I'm going to lose you to someone better/richer."
"I feel especially nervous when we are out dancing and guys flock to you and flirt with you and you blow them kisses back."
"I feel like you might leave at any second, because you could get anyone."
Tell her you know these are your problems, not hers and that she can't solve them. But also, that you don't want your fears and jealousies to rip you apart without her knowing what's going on. So, you aren't asking her to change, but you are giving her a big FYI. The FYI is that you are jealous and worried.
And it’s tough to do this, because our culture says grown men aren’t allowed to admit they are scarred, or that they have a problem they are working on. And it’s tough to do it and tell her, and MEAN IT, that you aren’t asking her to change, just telling her that you are struggling.
Frankly, I think you’d be fair to ask her to think about her behaviour towards men she doesn’t know. In her defence, it it’s a tough thing to figure out how to do as a young lady: How to be polite to men who give you attention, without encouraging that attention. Friends are a different story, but if she is blowing kisses to strangers in bars and clubs, she is risking giving stupid men the wrong idea. That’s a fair request to ask her to think about where she draws the line between being polite and friendly, and being an available flirt - not because it’s going to solve your jealous (it isn’t) - but because she might be making some honest mistakes.
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