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Seeing him for the first time..
20 Female. Connor 19
Me and Connor used to "talk" for about 4 months. We actually got really close, like we could talk about everything. That's until he decided he didn't want to talk anymore and blew up on me. We didn't talk for about 2 months and then he eventually apologized twice for being such a jerk and asked if we could still be friends. Connor has a big house, and so they always have these huge parties. Well he said I could come with Joe (One of my good friends, who also knows Connor through hockey) one time and that he hopes to see me over the summer.
I haven't talked to Connor in about a month now since he asked if we could still be friends. Well just yesterday Joe texted me saying "Are we gonna go to Connor's this summer for a party sometime?" and I said "Haha yeah we can but I'm sure it will be kind of weird at first with everything that happened so you can't leave me right away!"
The thing is, I'd really like to see Connor again and be friends. It's just that I know it's gonna be awkward since it would be the first time I'd seen him since everything happened. I know he'd be nice to me but I also wouldn't know anyone except Connor and Joe at the party. I'd hate to be that awkward person. I'm not that good with meeting new people. Once I get to know someone, I'm outgoing but going into a party with a bunch of people I dont know, I will be intimidated.
Plus there is always a lot of girls that go too I guess, so I have a feeling they will be staring at me and being like "Whose that girl?" I know I'd get along good with the guys though.
Do you think I should go? I really want to, I'd obviously be really nervous but I think it'd be good for me. How can I fit in with everyone and not be that "awkward person" Of course it's gonna be even more nerve-wrecking with all those girls there that I don't know (you know how girls can be) so how can I be someone that's approachable? ANY suggestions? Thanks! :)
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Let me clue you in about male-female relationships here: men and women can't be friends. Guys are hunters and are therefore target or goal directed. The reason he was talking to you all that time before the blowup was that he wanted to get with you. However, he was too chicken to pull the trigger on asking you out because you weren't hitting him over the head with signs that you wanted to be his girlfriend (guys are REALLY dumb about that). He finally got tired of it, was feeling emotionally used and so blew up even though he should have manned up and asked you out.
This is standard operating procedure for nice guys, unfortunately. So if you're going to put a guy on the dreaded "friend list" then you should make that clear early on so he can choose to not waste his time looking at you as mate material.
He had second thoughts about the way he ranked you out because, hey, he's a nice guy, but his silence since then says that he has put you on the back burner and is moving on. I would give the party a miss unless you want to be his girlfriend since the alcohol at the party will give him the courage to make a bigtime pass at you.
Look at this as a learning experience and move on.
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well you should definately go and this will show connor that you're cool about it and you want to be friends so it wont be that awkward, the truth is when you're at a party people expect you to get up and mingle and girls will always have the mentality that if you're always just talking to the guys you're a "whore" for now practice relaxing if people see that you're outgoing and you're comfortable it will make it easier for them too and the conversation will go well, you could go up to people and tell them that you love their outfit, hair or shoes everybody loves compliments and that will get it started from there remember RELAX and enjoy yourself
best of luck
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I mean all you can do is be YOURSELF and if people don't like that then say screw you!! Don't EVER change for ANYONE! If your shy until you get to know someone a little bit, thats completely okay. Just say "hey" to people as you walk by, smile, don't walk by with your head down and not speak! Then you will be the "awkward" girl! Just hold your head high (with out being cocky), be confident, talk to people, and laugh alot. Let others know that your having a good time. Don't let the girls "intimidate" you! Their nervous just like you are except they just don't let anyone know! If you feel someone looking at you, but not saying anything, just say "hey what's up? or how's it going?" lol make them feel like an idiot for staring! The main thing though, just be YOU! HAVE FUN!It's a party! And plus you want to see Connor! About that, don't let it be "awkward" between you two. Let the past be the past and look towards the future! Going to the party might help you with your "shyness" and you never know, you might meet some cool people there and make some new friends! OR even meet a guy! Theres all kinds of stuff that can happen at a party lol! But also be careful. I think you should for SURE go to this party! Don't worry about the girls there. Good Luck and have some FUN, girl! -Christy
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