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Am I the only person who spent a lot of their childhood and teenage years o
I feel like I've learned a lot of things because of it, but I also feel like I've missed out a lot and now have pretty poor social skills. I've made better friends online than with people I know IRL, ugh. But nobody ever really invites me to things or w/e IRL and I do have some activities, but just, yeah. And I'm also a terrible procrastinator. I'd do so much better in school if internet (music, forums, news articles) wasn't distracting me all the time.
How could this impact me in the long run? I'm really worried. Like pros and cons wise. I really want to make up for this loss of life experiences when I'm in college. Like I haven't even been close to getting a boyfriend or anything. I don't relate to a lot of my peers on experiences like going to parties on the weekend with people from school, sleepovers, etc. It's also cause I'm one of the new people in school, so it's just very horrid. I haven't even been invited to any event (birthday, hang out at house) in more than a year now. When I first came to my new school people were nice and things were good and now it's like everyone's ignoring me. I dont get why people lose interest in me quickly.. I'm an interesting person, a good friend and everything.. I don't understand what I do wrong all the time.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
1) Procrastination.
Procrastination is so, so easily fixed. It's will power baby! You gotta force yourself to get off the computer and do your homework. It's hard trying to get started, but once you get in a bit of a routine, you'll be good. In High School I was a terrible procrastinator, and when I got into University I had to really force myself to do my readings every week. But now I have no problem getting through them (and secretly, I'm starting to enjoy them!) When you start spending more time on your school work, you'll notice your grades will start to go up and it makes you feel really good about yourself.
I would suggest trying to spend say an hour or so as soon as you get home from school on homework. It may be as much as two or even three hours, as long as you get your homework done. Then, you've deserved to go online. And try to limit your online time. It's great, but your life shouldn't revolve around it. Make sure you're off the computer at a certain time so that you get enough sleep :)
2) Social skills.
These are learnable.
It's really hard starting at a new school, but you can always make friends at any point. Don't force it, just maybe try talking to people a little more around you. The thing with social skills, making friends and fighting procrastination, is stepping out of your comfortable bubble and being a little fearless. It'll pay off, the more you step out of your comfort zone, the more confident you will become.
They were nice to you when you came, which is a great sign! They sound like nice kids, but because you're quite reserved and shy, they stopped trying to be your friend because it seemed like you were pulling away from them. Just be nice and friendly, smile a lot, talk more to other people and make more of an effort in your studies. Eventually you'll find someone you click with sweetie, you just got to be a little more talkative with people.
Don't be upset that you don't get invited out much. In High School I didn't have a whole lot of friends and didn't get invited out places often because I was a really shy girl with a low self esteem. When I got into University, it did take me a little while to make friends, but now I get invited to things all the time because I'm so much more confident than I was in High School. People aren't inviting you places because they don't know you. When you make friends, they will want to hang out with you outside of school.
3) College.
I live in Australia so it may be a little different, but here University/College is soo different from High School. People are less judgemental and more open to making friends. Most people there don't have a big group of friends like they did in High School, so they want to make new friends. At first you may be shy and quiet, but keep pushing outside of your comfort zone to talk to people and make friends. The more friends you make, the easier it will become to talk to people. Compared to when I first started Uni, I'm 95% more confident and happier.
So...
You need to force yourself to study. It takes will power and a lot of effort. It's like getting out of bed on a cold morning for school. At first it's painful and seems impossible, but once you're up and walking around it's easy.
You make friends by being a happy, confident person, and by talking more. You may not be confident, but to me, someone that smiles at other people and is just nice is a confident person. Try to talk a little more to people every day, and when you start getting along with someone ask if they want to hang out or go see a movie or something. You can ALWAYS make friends WHEREVER you are :)
School sucks. It just does. But don't let it get you down. When you finish school you'll realise how insignificant it is. You don't even begin life until you finish High School in my opinion, and you'll know what I mean when you graduate.
You sound like a really lovely girl, and a very interesting one at that! There's probably tonnes of people at your school just like you, shy and feeling a bit lonely and sad, but you can always change that.
There's nothing wrong with you at all, you're a great girl, you just need to talk more and let people see your personality a little more and they'll love you!
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You may be interesting, but you seem like maybe you aren't very good at letting people see that side of you. The best thing you can do is get involved in outside activities. What are your interests? Reading, theatre, math, chess, etc? Join a club, NOT an online club, a club at school, or even at a local community center. Its an easy way to meet people you already have something in common with and you will have an excuse to get out and be active, away from your computer. As you start learning to enjoy life outside of the internet, it will become easier to be motivated and talk to people. Don't overdo it. Just start with one thing you like and find out how to do that thing with other people. Before you know it you'll be socializing with the best of them!
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