hi. so this is a really long story but i'm gonna try to make it short. i dated my boyfriend for 7 months. we hooked up during the first week of college and we were together the whole year. we hung out all the time, i slept in his room every night, we woke up every morning together, we live in the same dorm building, basically it felt like we lived together. anyways, 2 weeks ago i had a date event for my sorority and he was texting his friend the whole time making fun of girls in my sorority that he thought were fat/ugly and telling his friend he didnt wanna be there. of course this created a huge fight between us and i broke up with him because i was so mad. he apologized and said he didnt mean to hurt me and his texts had nothing to do with me and he was drunk when he sent them. we got back together the next day and then were fine until the weekend (even though i was still mad at him). on friday he broke up with me for no reason when he was blacked out and was being a huge dick. i got so mad at him and was so drunk that i went and hooked up with some other guy. let me make this clear: the guy kissed me. i just let him kiss me and then i freaked out because it felt so wrong and went to go find my boyfriend.. well we weren't actually together at that point but whatever. so anyways the day after we were fine and he didnt even remember what happened but i had to tell him that i hooked up with that other guy. he was angry of course but he broke up with me a day later telling me that he couldnt stop thinking about it and couldnt believe i would do that to him. i thought he was just trying to push me away so i would beg for his forgiveness.. so thats what i did. for 3 days i tried to get him back but he kept pushing me away and crying and telling me it felt like i cheated on him. (we do occasionally break up when were drunk and both know that were gonna get back together in the morning, so i know what i did was wrong). he asked me for space so eventually i stopped trying to show him i cared about him and left him alone. we havent talked in like a week but ive seen him around because we live in the same building. he has a dance on friday and hes taking another girl (theyre just friends, but still). ive just been so miserable the past week, literally i cant function. i just dont know if i should just not talk to him and wait and see if he wants me back or if i should go talk to him. because when we were fighting during those 3 days, the second i told him he was right and we should break up he freaked out and wanted to get back together. its like he wants me when he cant have me. usually im good with this stuff but i love him so much that its clouding my judgement. i dont know if i should just try to get over him because usually how i do it is by hooking up with other guys and i know that would completely ruin any chance i have with him but i cant stay in this state of confusion anymore. help?
Additional info, added Monday May 2 2011, 5:43 pm: so over the weekend he texted me and we ended up hanging out and kissing and stuff but thats all. he's acting weird still, like distant and thats understandable but i'm not sure if i should try really hard and show him how much i care because that's what annoyed him before or if i should be distant too and let him come to me? he did mention the other day that he feels like i don't care about him but i feel like the second i start showing i care he's gonna back away. help?. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? masterclinic answered Thursday April 28 2011, 9:06 pm: I dont know what he's thinking but if he wants to get back together with you he just wants to know that you love him. Write him a letter telling him how much your sorry, how your feeling, and especially how much he means to you.
Theres no way to prove that you love him but you still need to try, tell him that your not asking for his trust but a chance to earn it back.
Findpeace answered Thursday April 28 2011, 4:31 pm: He is in it for the "thrill of the chase. " You said yourself whenn you wrote, "its like he wants me when he cant have me.". This is not the type of relationship that you want to have. When you really do meet the right one, none of these games will happen. Move on, love yourself, build you self esteem, and you will know when it's right. [ Findpeace's advice column | Ask Findpeace A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.