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WHAT TO DO WHEN GIRLFRIEND CALLS YOU EX BOYFRIENDS NAME


Question Posted Wednesday April 27 2011, 7:22 pm

Been seeing each other for 6mths and she split up with her ex around a year before we got together, she was staying at my place and we were just chatting and she calls me the ex's name,then i realize and clicked that she still has got a pic with him on FaceBook looking kinda cosy, i kicked a bit of a stink up and talked about it a little, made me feel less a man kinda, what to do?



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Additional info, added Wednesday April 27 2011, 7:30 pm:
OHH, looking kinda cosy i meant they are cheek to cheek in the pic, she told me he an arsehole and used to go cry alot, does this all mean anything? .

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waterboy answered Thursday April 28 2011, 1:33 am:
seems a bit of a tricky one, though i think i'd have to go with zane on this one, sorry razhie but you say your mum calls wrong names often these are people she probably see's most days and work mates as well are seing each other most days so would be easier to get names mixed up then, this is a one of by the look of it though so i saying she might have slipped up, though having a pictue on face book with him still i thinks not the best to do, fair enough she could have one for her personal self but to put it on there for everyone to see still, i say she still has issues, as u say razhie she entitled to those things but have a bit of courtesy for ur man and keep somethings for urself, i think zane said it she prob still has fellings she hasn't got over yet having that pic on fb while she with you, have a talk about it if you think it innocent but i say find someone who not hung up,

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Razhie answered Wednesday April 27 2011, 11:55 pm:
I couldn't possibly disagree with Zane more strongly than I do.
It *might* mean something.
It is possible that it does, but it's also completely possible that she simply slipped up.

I have a small army of siblings - my mother often calls me by the wrong name. Sometimes someone dials my number when she means to call one of the others. At work, we have several people with similar sounding names, sometimes the wrong name gets called out. This is human. It doesn't mean anything in these cases. The mouth makes noise before consulting the brain sometimes. It's not a big deal.

So unless there is more to this than a single flub and single photo: You get the hell over it. It doesn't make you less of a man. That's a load of shit. For the rest of your life you will likely date women who have dated men before you - some of those exes WONT be assholes or jerks - they'll be nice guys it just didn't work out with. The idea that it makes you 'less of a man' is wrapped up in the whole awful, chauvinistic idea that women should be 'pure and untouched'. You MUST let that go - it's inappropriate and unfair to hold your partner to that standard - unless you hold yourself to that standard as well. And if you do, you need to not date people who have had past relationships. Good luck.

She is entitled to her past and all of the good people and bad people in it. She is entitled to keeping the photo. She is entitled to making a simple mistake.

Most healthy, well adjusted people, don't scrub exes out of their lives and pretend they don't exist: That is generally an immature approach. Many breaks up don't mean complete mental banishment. I have several exes I don't speak to, they are lousy people I don't want in my life. I also have exes I do speak too. They are pleasant, lovely people who I don't want to be in a relationship with. My partner is much the same.

Of course it's a bit upsetting in the moment, but unless there is a pattern of behaviour that leads you to believe she is uncommitted to you or attached to her ex, you owe it to her to trust her and respect her, and to let this go.

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Xui answered Wednesday April 27 2011, 10:10 pm:
Does it mean anything? Yes it does.


If your girlfriend is truly over her ex then there should be no reason at all to why she would have a picture of him on her facebook. 6 months is a long time to be dwelling over your ex and the truth is nobody should ever date someone until they are completely over it. Sounds to me that your girlfriend still cares and has feelings towards him and her excuse of him being an asshole is her way of not showing she still cares for him. What to do? Honestly, I would end the relationship. You know deep inside she still feels for her ex or you wouldn't be asking us what to do. You have been in a relationship for 6 months with someone who apparently still cares very deeply for someone else and you are being led on into thinking you are the only man in her life. I would seek someone who is into you for who you are and values your relationship.

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