|
Suicide
Is the 7th time a charm?
April, 26, 2011
I tried to commit suicide today for the 6th time today. I cant do anything right.If I had apistol it would be over by now, but i am a felon and I do not know where too purchase one illegally. I've tried pills, exsangunation, more pills,(note: 375 tylenol will not kill u even w/oa stomach pump I got this idea in my head that if I took tylenol long enough, slowbleeding ( I got 25 tylenol I took a day for 8 years, finally developed an ulcer and almost beld to deathSO Close that one. And then today, electrocution, I poured a bath. Got some electrical instruments, a lamp , and a telephone because the stupid space heater wouldn't work. And it did nothing. Good for nothing. Oh yeah, and self immolation...thatdidnt quite work because my mom ran in the house and I didn't want her to get hurt. I really dont undersstand what I'm trying to say, I think it's just that someone has to know a sure way to die. This Hell can't be anymore worse than the real Hell. At least in my mind. I've been on meds, docs, I can't get a job. Haven't had one for over almost a year. At least i can sit and rot in hell. I'm no use here. Everything was taken from me, I have no hope or streength to continue with this so called charade. I haven't been in a relationship for 10 years. I don't know what loe is anymore. I can't even love myself. And all I'm going to here is NO NO dont do it it will get better blah blah bllha. For me, it's only gotten worse. It is the endpoint. ood Day, and God Bless, one more day of hell.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You don't want to hear people telling you not to kill yourself, but I am sorry to say that is what I am going to tell you. You only get to live one time. Why would you take that away from yourself? If you don't want to do it for yourself do it for your family. The will miss you like crazy. If you say you've hit rock bottom then things can only get better. Think of all the things you haven't done yet. What you will miss out on. If everyone killed themselves when their lives weren't going well we wouldn't have a human population. I hope with all my heart you fight for your life. You can do this I believe in you:)
]
Have you ever thought maybe there's a reason all of your tries have failed? Don't you think you're here for a reason? Whether you believe in God or not, we're all here for some reason even if it may not seem clear to you at the moment. I'm not going to sit here and tell you life will get better but I'm also not going to help you do something that I do not approve of. Everyone goes through rough patches. for some people those patches last longer than others. For some it may seem like it will never end. If I tell you everything will get better, you will disagree therefor it will only make you feel worse for feeling as if those around you can't be trusted. You're the only person in control of your life. If you wake up one morning and say to yourself "I'm going to be happy today" chances are much higher that you will have a good day. You can't just say things though, you have to stick with it. The way you think has a great impact on how you feel. Since you have been thinking in a negative way for quite a while now, it's only obvious that you will not be happy. If you wake up in a depressed mood, thinking negative thoughts, you won't have a good day.
Love isn't the only thing in this world. You said you haven't had a job for almost a year? That should just push you to try harder to better yourself and find a job. Haven't been in a relationship for almost 10 years? How would you expect to be in a relationship if you're so harsh on yourself? You have to gain your confidence back. I'm sure you weren't depressed your whole life. You have to look on the bright side and make things happen, don't expect someone to magically turn your life around because you're the only person with that power. Good Luck on whatever decision you choose to make. If you ever want to talk you can always message me.
]
More Questions: |