|
I slept with my ex...
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago, because he told me he has issues and wasn't ready to carry on a relationship. (he went through a divorce a few years before we started dating) I hung out with him at a mutual friend's birthday the other day...I acted very casual around him, and he did the same. Afterwords, we ended up spending the rest of the night together, talking about the problems outside of our relationship we had been going through since our breakup. He finally said, "Okay, you're coming home with me. You need a break." And so I ended up back at his place...we talked more that night, never going into the relationship we had previously had, other than him apologizing again for breaking up with me...He was very affectionate with me, and even gave me a massage. I slept in his bed that night, and he held me close to him in a bearhug all night, being very affectionate with me, stroking my arm/thighs and whatnot...the next morning, he made me breakfast, and eventually we ended up back in bed again, because we were still tired...and then we let ourselves go...at the time, I just didn't care, and let my passion for him take over. We showered together afterwords, and he kissed me a couple times when we were in there...I went with him to his parents house later that day for dinner, but again, very casual...on our way home, he told me he was sorry things got the way they had earlier in the day, and he told me, "I can't think of anyone I'd rather do it with."...and he was talking about how he's getting close to figuring stuff out, but isn't quite there yet...I don't know if he was talking about being in a relationship or not...
Now, I knew going in it probably wasn't going to be the beginning of a new romance...I hoped, and hoped though...
I know it was just more than likely just a casual thing. But it's not like I was a cold, 'bootycall', because he's not that kind of a guy...but I still feel regret for doing it. And I want to tell him that. I want to tell him, "I shouldn't have done that, because I still have feelings for you."...but I don't know if I SHOULD. I'm going to see him tomorrow, and I don't quite know how to go about this, or if I should...I still want to be with him, but I am 95% sure he doesn't...
What do you all think?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So basically you regret it because it makes it harder to move on, is that about it?
I think a healthier approach to it would be to realize that you enjoyed the sex but rationally know that it may not signal a reconciliation. Just view it as a fun one off and don't get so bogged down in whether or not there is any significance attached to it.
There are people who were once boy-girl but realize that their personal styles don't really allow them to live together on a day to day basis but that they also have great sexual chemistry, so they get together occasionally for a good old fun roll in the hay. Look at it like that and avoid the emotional burden.
]
It is pointless to tell him you regret doing what you did only because you cannot go back and undo what is already done. If you feel that you two need to slow it down and remain mutual then that is what you tell him. It sounds like he is confused and doesn't know what he wants out of his life, If I were you I'd slow it down and keep it casual until he knows for sure. Communicate, Let him know that you care about him but you think you two should back off on the intimacy until you both know where you stand with one another. Give him space and let him figure out what he wants. Let him call you and take it from there but you may want to take it slow until he is ready for commitment. Sure, He may not be the kind of guy that seeks a booty call but he IS a guy after all.
]
More Questions: |