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my boyfriend and i are having a baby...
well i have been with my boyfriend for only 3 months and i am pregnant and i want to keep it. he seems to be ok with it but i need to know for sure he is ok with it. i want to know how to tell he is really ok with having this baby and what questions should i ask him so that when i face my parents with it i have some form of answers to answer them about the babies father.. thanx in advance.
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It's your decision about whether to keep the baby. It's your body, etc., and you're free to do what you will.
You sound reluctant about your boyfriend's willingness to accept this.
Is your pregnancy showing yet? How does he react to it? Do you still spend time with him, or is he becoming distant? What difference would it make if he truly wouldn't be ok with it? These are questions you should ask yourself, because it will help you figure out how to deal with him.
He should be excited about it and he should be working hard now to help all of you later. You'll all need to work out living arrangements - will you stay with him, he with you, or will you build a life together outside of your homes (I'm not sure if you're still living at home).
These are the practical questions you both need to sort out sooner rather than later. Giving birth is the first step to having a baby, and raising a child is a life-long responsibility for the parents and the child.
If it gets difficult, remember that there are always those precious moments that you'll remember years later!
Good luck!
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Wow! Congratulations! Having a child is such an amazing experience!
Firstly, it is great that you want to keep your baby! That is a sign that you will make a great mother! You baby will thank you for loving him/her so much one day!
Even if you were married, there is so much advice and judgement from everyone that it is so annoying!
Make up your mind that you will keep the baby and love it and do everything that you can possibly do to keep the baby loved, safe and healthy, with or without the father and you will be okay.
With your boyfriend, ask him what his ideas are for where you will live once the baby is born. If he says together, then that is a good start.
(How old are you guys, by the way?)
What is your boyfriends relationship with his family? Does he like them, or completely avoid them. I ask this, because if he is devoted to them, chances are he should be loyal to you and helping with the baby.
If his family is really dysfunctional, he may not have been taught the good skills of sticking around, and taking care of his responsibilites. (He can learn these, but it is a long process. My fabulous husband is still learning some of these things on a daily basis!) Even when it is hard it is worth it. Just make sure you dont' get abused emotionally or otherwise, and protect your little one.
Ask him if his friends ever cheat on their girlfriends. If it is normal for them to do it, he may think it is normal for him to as well. If his friends are all generally good guys, then he probably is as well. (of course there are exceptions to this rule)
I have some other advice that I would love to tell you! :
It is a good idea to get yourself an amazing support network. Your parents are a great start, but look further as well, such as young mothers groups, antenatal classes, talk with your midwife/doctor and they can give you a list. Make contacts and friends with as many people as possible. They will help you later.
With all the advice, listen to it politely, but use your gut instinct as to what is right for you and your child, then do it (so long as it is healthy and legal)
If you feel tired, down, etc after the baby is born, this is normal, with the hormomes around your body. But if it seems too much, more than you would expect, or hard to deal with talk to your doctor quick. They can be a wonderful help.
Also speaking of doctors, if something is wrong with your child, even if it is little, go the the doctor or emergency straight away. No one ever thinks a mother is silly for taking care of her baby/child. And if you don't like the advice, or if your gut feeling doesn't agree, get a second opinion.
There is an incredible book called "hypnobirthing, the marie mongan method' which i really recommend.
It made my second birth feel so good that I had no pain during pushing and it felt nearly orgasmic and I wanted more!
Good luck! I hope you have an amazing time! Don't give up either, it's hard but wonderful for all of us, but absolutely completely worth it when you have their little arms around you saying 'hug' or when you teach them something, or when they do something really nice for someone else, which they learnt just from watching you be nice to someone. So amazing!
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