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Is there any way to escape Suicide in my life?
Hello.
I need some real down to earth advice. I am a 23y/o mom who only gets to see my 3 y/o daughter once a week and even then its no fun cause all she does is push me away. I have been contemplating suicide for many many weeks now and have truly given up on life and everything about it. I was diagnosed with lvl 2 Bipolar Disorder since I was 14 but the downside is I have no insurance to get/stay on meds. Washington Mental Health care sucks!!! I have a crappy relationship where I feel like I am just the personal driver and house cleaner... I have struggled for 3 years to get a job and now I have been tryin to file for state disability but I seemed to of signed away my Medical records rights... I cannot go on living like this anymore... People always say oh think of your daughter, think of this, think of that... My daughter is living a wonderful life with her grandparents who hate me. I have nothing ever positive in my life and am done putting up with it. I have no family to help me, no friends, not even any money... WTF did I do to deserve this kind of life... Anyone have something good to say to try to keep pushing on???
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I am sorry to hear this and there is nothing you ever did to deserve this. I understand where you are coming from about the think about your daughter, but look at it this way, its true that she is pushing you away now but when she gets older, how are her grandparents going to explain to her that she will never see her mommy again. She is going to miss you so much when she gets older. Yes her grandmother will be there but your the one she is going to want to talk about her first crush with and all the fashion trends, puberty because YOUR her mother. I am telling you that suicide is not the way to go. And i agree with AlienHumanologist you need to focus on the positive. I hope you reconsider the suicide, If you ever need to talk about this please feel free to email me at cbestudent96@gmail.com
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It is unfortunate that human biochemistry suffers from occasional flaws. You did nothing to deserve biopolar disorder. However, your thinking will be improved if you get the treatment you require. Focus on the proactive things you can do to make your situation better, rather than dwelling on the random reasons for misfortune. Local, state, and national organizations (e.g. Mental Health America [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)) exist to help people with their prescriptions.
My advice is to start by addressing that problem. Possibly, your medication regimen will help to place your other problems in a better perspective.
"Anyone have something good to say to try to keep pushing on???"
Out of all the billions of planets in our galaxy, fewer than fifty gave rise to life complex enough to be aware of its surroundings. Every flower you smell, every deep breath of fresh air, every laugh... these are all experiences that 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the matter in the universe cannot feel. Do not be so hasty to join the dull majority of dead matter. There is so much universe to enjoy, and so few living beings to enjoy it. I cannot say where you will find your joy -- in the sunrise, in a cupcake, in a quiet hour studying your own fingers, in a museum, in a forest. But I can say there are more joys out there in the universe than there are beings to enjoy them. Go claim your share.
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