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What is the next step in this "Friendmance"
Sorry kinda long!
Sorry kinda long…
Okay I’m a 22/f/leo and having been talking to a 23/m/Taurus that found me on tagged.com. We’ve been communicating by phone and text messages since January 4th. We live 45 mins from one another. In the beginning, we were talking as friends but we could tell we were developing feelings for one another. We were on the same page about a lot of things and knew what we wanted in life. One problem though, we are exact opposites. So we butted heads on few things and being that we were learning about each other we didn’t know any better. So we stopped talking for about two weeks on 2 occasions. Considering both of our astrological signs we are VERY stubborn, but he ended up giving in and reconnected with me both times. Both times I figured things were done, but he was the one who gave in called me/text me. The first time we stopped talking was over a comment I made about a fantasy I had, and the second time was about me and how I go to clubs. He doesn’t want to date a girl that girl that goes to clubs (which I don’t really go, I go to bars more). But we are talking again for the third time. This time our connection is wayyyy more powerful and we just have this mutual understanding. I must say I have already sacrificed quite a bit for him, such as going out to clubs and bars… I haven’t been out in over a month, and as much as it is killing me, I see the good in it.
But the ringer is this, we have been talking for 3 months and we have yet to meet in person. The first time we made plans it fell through on my end because I was in a mad mood. Now when I mention when can I come and see you, he’s like “I’ll let you know…” I offer to see him cause I don’t want him coming to my place. So plan B, I his birthday is next month and I already knew what I was going to get him and he was going to buy the same the gift I was going to get him cause he kinda needs it now. So I told him, “No, I will go ahead and get it…” and he was like “I don’t wanna put you in a bind…” but I insisted otherwise. So I’ve gone ahead and purchased his gift. Now I am awaiting when I get the okay to take it to him.
I’m trying to be patient because I really do believe that genuinely likes me… he’s open up to me about how much he’s been dreadfully hurt by girls and just doesn’t want that to happen again. I mean in talking to him, I can tell that he is still hurting over that last girl he was with and I think he hasn’t accepted that was has happened has happened. So he is having a difficult time letting his guard down. I know I can only assure him that I’d never hurt him and in fact I’ve been in the same shoes as him. I’ve only been in one serious relationship in my life and guys I’ve dated after that have failed me time and time again so I know how he feels. If anything I try to remain supportive and lending an open ear and help when needed and I can tell he appreciates that.
So why is it that I feel that I am getting the run around when it comes to meeting in person? I mean our schedules are slightly fixed, but I am willing to sacrifice time and sleep to go and see him when he’s available. However when he talks to me, he tells me how he goes and helps out his homegirl with her car cause it’s messing up and she has a kid, and he just got a membership to a gym so now he is going to the gym… okay so where does that leave me? I mean I don’t mind all of this but there was time I could be fit in, especially on his days off.
Any advice about this situation would be greatly appreciated. Any additional details needed just let me know…
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Hey,
The way I see it, you have been handling everything correctly so far. You are listening, being understanding of his situation and being patient about everything that has happened. I think the reason why he is putting off meeting you in person is cuz he is real busy, he doesn't know when to make time, or he is still a bit unsure about the relationship. You had a few ups and downs which could make him comtemplate meeting up with you (a bit). You say he has activities going on for him, so he could be putting you off until he has a chunk of free time too.
I think it was nice and right of you to buy him a birthday present even though he said "I don't want to put you in a bind". It shows you are thinking of him and when he does let you bring it to him, he will appreciate the gift/you even more.
Meeting someone in person can be very different than talking to them through text, email, or web cam. What I would do the next time you talk to him is ask: "is it alright if I come down on *insert day*?" (take initiative), "What if I meet you at the gym?" (help him plan) or say "I am looking forward to seeing you in *his home town/city*" (tell him what you want without being pushy). Suggestions like this will catch his interest and have him think more about meeting up with you. I believe what is happening could be a 'time sacrifice' on his part. Continue being patient/supportive and I'm sure he will ask you to come over <3
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