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I have herpes, but I didn't tell him. How do I tell him now, before we go on a trip and...?
Six or seven months ago i found out i have herpes aka my bad friend that never gets blamed.... it never really hit me until about 3 days ago ... i tried to be strong but i met this guy and i have been speaking to him on the net and he is amazing ... everything i have been asking for its like its almost to good to be true ...oh yeah it is... i have Herpes... smh... How do i tell him such a thing...not the right way but the way that would make us both at least feel comfortable... i almost always cry for everything(emotional but dont want to be in front of him) and im getting alot of different feed back ... but not quite sure what to do ... i feel stuck and like im branded like a cow...Im afraid if i tell him to early it would hurt me... and if i tell him to late ... it would hurt him ... i need to make this decision very soon because he has invited to a trip with him and we have been talking for about a month and met once or twice for casual dinner or lunch. Mentally and emotionally we are connected ... but im afraid if i go away on a trip with him and he wants to move to the next level(which i kinda do too) how would he feel i push him and say no or stop him and tell him "HEY I HAVE HERPES"...still want to get it on :(..... he already expressed about someone in his family that has herpes... I seriously need advice or someone to talk to me... this is hard when its something you dont deserve or didnt ask for .... especially from someone you once cared about...Thank you in advance for your thoughts and help Sincerely Girl with the friend that never gets blamed... ONLY ME
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My goodness are you in a tough spot.
Well, having been through something like this, I can tell you that you have to tell him before you go one single step further.
The minute this turned romantic, that info became his business.
In my situation, the girl was too busy cheating on me to give me herpes, or things might have gone worse for me.
It is a really hard thing for you to expect him to deal with when you haven't dealt with it yourself yet.
Your original title for this, indicated that you got herpes from a friend who never gets blamed for anything? Any chance you would ask me a question and explain what that is all about?
It seems to me that it would be a good idea for you to seek counseling to help come to grips with the situation you find yourself in now, regardless of who may have given you herpes, it is your problem now, sadly, and most people will need help adjusting to their new life.
Aside from you getting help, there is the original question about how to tell him... Well, directly would be best.
Don't expect him to take it well. Volunteering for a lifetime of bleeding puss-filled sores is a lot to ask of someone you have never met in person.
You never know, I think, for the right person, a guy would sign up for that duty. Love is an amazing thing.
Having this conversation is going to be hard, I know that, but I can promise you that the longer you put it off the harder it will be. I think you already figured that part out. :(
I feel so bad for you in this situation, and I hope that everything works out for the best.
If he chooses to pass on the situation, I wanted to let you know that there are dating services for people with herpes. A great many souls have found love and a common cause there. You are welcome to write again and ask about that if things go south.
Be strong, and do your best. He will respect your honesty.
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