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Am I ugly?!
Okay so last night me and my boyfriend were talking. I asked him what he first fell in love with, and he said it was my personality. He said I'm not cute, but I'm pretty, and later said if he was in this relationship for looks, he wouldn't have said yes.
I am an over examiner. I think too much over tiny things. But what he said really hurt. It makes me feel like I am ugly. I am so self-conscious now. I don't want to feel that way. He's my boyfriend! I should feel my prettiest around him! I told him I was confused and he said, you're not ugly, just not the prettiest girl I have ever seen.
Which confuses me because he calls me beautiful and sexy and fine and I'm like ?
He's really got me stumped. Is he saying I am ugly or am I over examining?!
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Hi, I'm old enough to be you your grandfather and I would like to give you my views on what your boyfriend said.
First he said he fell in love with your personality first. You should feel lucky that you found someone who was not looking for some empty headed skin deep beautiful person to love. He was looking for the real person, the person that resides just below the skin. Sex and sexual attraction can only hold a relationship together for so long. He also said you were pretty. You are offend that he didn't say you are cute. The word cute has many definitions.
I believe being pretty has it over being cute. I don't think you should be offend if someone considers you pretty but not cute. Especially after you think about how many different ways we use that word.
You are very luck to have found someone who wants to know and love the real you. He calls you sexy and beautiful, which you are. Why over examine things. Just enjoy being with your boyfriend who loves the pretty girl and the person you truly are.
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The way I see it is this, instead of being upset by his honesty, be thankful!
If he had told you he thought you were the most gorgeous, beautiful, sexiest women in the world, you'd be happy right? BUT, you would know that he was probably lying (without the fact he hasnt seen every women in the world, its just quite an inproprobable idea). But he hasnt said you're 'drop dead gorgeous'. In fact, he's said something better. The truth. Which in actual fact is brilliant - he thinks you're pretty!
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Ahhhh yes! You are over examining the statement. But you know what, you shouldn't. When he calls you beautiful and sexy, it's not always about your looks. Yes, he might be talking about your looks, but your movements can be sexy. Your thoughts can be beautiful... Think about it! :)
Unfortunately, there will ALWAYS be someone prettier than you and I. Why? Because each person has their preference. Your boyfriend might like short and skinny girls, while mine may like tall and chubby. I might think brunettes are prettier than red heads, but you might think that red heads are gorgeous. He is your boyfriend. He loves you for who you are. And he will look at other girls. It's the truth. Keep being the person you are, because if he's still with you, and enjoys your company, it's because he loves the person you are deep down inside. And if you need a confidence booster, dress up. Do what makes YOU feel pretty, whether it be putting on make-up or volunteering and helping others. Make yourself feel good, so you can exude that confidence and happiness and others will notice it! Hope I've helped!
-Uniq
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You are over examining.
And obsessing.
And defeating yourself.
And sabotaging a relationship.
Stop it.
Sure, what your boyfriend said was stupid. He's young. He'll learn not to share those thoughts in this way. It's understandable that it hurts a bit, and he should probably apologize.
However, you also need to take a deep breath and accept that you can be beautiful, fine and sexy in his eyes as his marvellous girlfriend - but if he were to pick you out of a line-up without knowing who you are at all you would not be the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.
Just deal with it.
Truth is, you probably don't want to be the prettiest girl in that line-up. Most people don't create lasting partnerships with the prettiest people they know! And no one should be with a guy who lies to himself and pretends he only has eyes for his girlfriend - that can lead to stupid and surprising actions when reality intrudes and he discovers that there will always be other girls out there he is going to think are very, very pretty.
I bet my boyfriend like's thinner girls than I am. I know he'd like it if I went and got my hair cut and tidied up - it's getting kinda straggly.
You are making this into a huge problem when it isn't a problem at all. Don't bully your boyfriend into lying to you just to keep you happy. Accept that you can be his beautiful girlfriend who he knows and adores, without being the most beautiful creature on the planet. Love isn't about lying to your partner. It's about loving them.
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