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Boyfriend has not taken calls or called me
Hi,
This is my story. I met this hot Italian guy, who had been my next door neighbor for a whole year and I didn't know this. One day, my flat mate invited him over for dinner and since that day, things were on a roll. We hooked up the very first night we met, spend hours talking, watching movies, making out, going out for dinners.
He even met some of my friends and I met his. he had to move to another place because of landlord issues, but is still only about 10 mins away from where I live.
A couple of weeks ago, he mentioned that he's been having a really stressful and rather traumatic time at work. Then two days later, I called him to ask if he'd like to get out for a change...to feel fresh, but he said he was tired. Its been more than two weeks since then and we've only exchanged a couple of text messages and he hasn't been taking my calls or calling me back although he said he'll call me this week - the week has passed. I just tried calling him but he still didn't answer or text. I am worried because I don't know what's going on. Being in the dark is driving me nuts!
I will respect his decision, whatever it is. Or give him space if he needs it. Or help him if he's in some trouble. But how do I know what to do if he won't communicate? Is he trying to dump me? What do I do???
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He is probably trying to dump you.
I've often heard this called "Pulling a Houdini"... I had a guy do it to me once after about a month of regular dating and hooking up. After about two weeks I sent him a message telling him that I wish he had chosen a more respectful way to tell me he wasn't interested, but that I was going to assume that whatever was happening between us was over and wished him well.
About 5 months later I got an apology e-mail from him, and he made several attempts after that to be 'friends'. I don't really like to invest much time into friendships where there is large chance of being treated like dirt, so after a few gentle "No, I don't want to hang out with you." and finally a clear "No. Seriously dude. I'm not interested in your friendship." he got the message and went away for good.
Frankly hun there is really no acceptable excuse for his behavoir. It's natural for you to be looking for a good excuse - if you like this guy and think he's a good person then of course you want to be believe that he is 'going through something' or 'maybe someone is dying' and so on. But the truth is that if he really liked you and wanted to be with you in any serious way, he would have told you what was up or made some effort to contact you.
He is behaving like an ass and child. It's not cool.
He doesn't care that much about you. He doesn't even care enough to make an excuse or tell you a lie in order to save you from stressing and worrying about him.
I know it's tough to just turn your emotions off, but that is the appropriate response to being treated with so little respect and dignity. Give up. Move on. And he ever comes crawling back (even if his excuse was that someone was dying!) do not even think about taking him back until you've made it abundantly clear that this sort of disrespect and silence is not an acceptable way to treat another person.
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If he isn't taking your calls or calling you back, I'd let the guy come to you when he is ready.
Despite the amount of stress he says he has, If he was into you he'd find a way to contact you. As usually no matter what kind of stress or trouble someone is in they usually need someone to talk too.
I'd back off, Give it another week or so. If he doesn't call then he likely lost interest.
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