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my boyfriend is mad at me
I went to a bar a couple of weeks a go and he said he forgave me for going and he still keeps trowing it in my face every time we get into a fight what do I do?
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We both know there is quit a bit more to this story than you wrote here.
You don't mention why he would be mad at you for going to a bar. Obviously you went without him, since he didn't know. Did you hide it from him, or just forget to tell him? If you hid it, then trust is the issue here. He may be thinking that if you can't be trusted in small things, then you aren't to be trusted with larger things.
Is there more to the bar thing? Did you go there to meet another guy? Does he think you did? You see where I am going with this?
Sometimes people have trouble forgiving what they don't understand.
This is one of the BIG reasons people seek couples therapy. He will say he forgives you to make you happy, BUT since it wasn't resolved to his satisfaction, there are lingering doubts about the situation.
I don't know that it is possible to forgive someone if you don't trust them not to do a repeat performance. He may have self esteem issues. He may have been badly hurt by someone before you. If either of these are true, then couples therapy is a good idea. If both of these are true, you would be smart to get some help sorting this out.
You know why it takes a third party? Because when you are both dealing with something that is uncomfortable, neither of you want to stay with the conversation long enough to get it fully resolved.
If you don't resolve it, it will never go away.
I have some experience with this issue. Sometimes people can damage your trust so badly that it can seem impossible to trust ANYONE again.
It isn't true, but it can sure seem like that. If you two can resolve this issue, you can move forward happily. If you can't, then it is better (for both of you) to get out sooner than later.
Please think about getting help for both of you.
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Throw a break up in his face.
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First off, Since he "forgave" you then it shouldnt be brought back up. Second off, The reason why he is throwing it back in your face is to throw you off, to make you mad, its a way for him to justify what ever he did and push everything back on you. My best advice is to walk away from him everytime he does it. reason being because he cant continue the fight if you walk away. Or you can look at him an say "You forgave me? Get off it?" stand up to him about it. Also dnt let him through yu off. Dnt let him justify his actions with throwing urs back in your face.
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