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just found out he has a baby....
so my boyfriend and i are going on three years together and we both just turned eighteen. we live together with a friend but we cant support ourselves yet............so we get a phone call one night saying my boyfriend of three years has a kid with the girl he lost his virginity too which was like five months before we got together. how do i handle this? i want kids but i want them to be mine and way way down the road. i love him but does that mean i have to love the baby too? what should i do?
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I find it pretty ironic that he has a child that is three years old and it has never been brought up until now? Either your boyfriend has known about it or she may not be completely honest with him. The first thing is for your boyfriend to get a DNA test to make sure that the child is his. Once he is certain that it is his, it will be his responsibility to take care of the child. As for you, if he has known all along and has not told you, it may be time for you and him to have a serious talk. This isn't something that should be kept from someone you are in a long term relationship with and these are issues that need to be addressed. If he just found out and it is indeed his, you are not obligated to love the child or take care of the child, however, if you choose to stay in a relationship with him, then you are agreeing to support him in whatever needs to be done for the child to grow up healthy and happy. The reality is, is that things will change. The question is is whether or not you are willing to make the sacrifice for this relationship. Over time you will also play a role in this child's life, simply because you are a part of his life. Your combined income with partly go towards child support, medical and any other expences. Part of your time with your boyfriend will be shared with your boyfriend. The question you need to answer is if you are willing to live your life like that. If the answer is no, then you may want to reconsider this relationship. I hope this helps.
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