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I feel like this girl wants to be me.
So there is this girl that I started becoming friends with. A little into our friendship, I started talking about one of my guy friends, let's call him A, she searched him on facebook and said she wasn't even cute. Two days later, they have each other's numbers and text all the time. She started liking him. Then she came over to my house while my brother had some of his buddies over. She searched the cutest one facebook, he'll be B, chatted him and they exchanged numbers. She texts him all the time. Now, I started liking this boy. He will be C. She started liking him, too. She talks about him all the time, flirts with him all the time, tells me what he does around her and exaggerates some actions he takes toward her. Even though she knows I like him. So, I confronted her on all of these boys and she said she's only friends with A and B and doesn't like like C. B thinks her texting is annoying, A only talks to her because he likes the idea of knowing she wants to talk to him. I don't know what to do. I just want to tell her to make her own friends! But I just don't have the heart. How do I handle this?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You get over it.
You can be her friend still - or you can decide this bothers you too much and cool down the friendship, but you also get over it. A, B and C can choose on thier own to speak to her or not speak to her and there is almost nothing at all you can do about it.
Although it feels like she is doing this deliberately, no one ever does it on purpose. She is trying to find her way through the world, and she is using you as her guide and her model, and you are the person she is seeking approval from. Approval for what people it's okay for her to like and be friends with. It's normal, and it's not even unhealthy.
If you keep on accusing her or confronting her, she will very honestly say “WTF! No!” and you’ll start a fight. She won’t be lying to you. She doesn’t see it the way you do. So there is no point in trying to argue with her. You’ll only be being a bully – and honestly – exaggerating your own position in her life, just the way she exaggerates hers with other people.
Let it go. If it upsets you, spend less time with her. You might remind her next time you feel she is flirting with C that she said she didn't like him... But still, she is young and flirtatious; she might not see what you see.
Rather than punishing her or confronting her, tell her gently when her behaviour doesn't line up with what she's told you is true. If your comments are taken badly, and you can’t put up with her behaviour, then you just aren’t cut out to be friends.
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