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sad feelings. is this ok?
18/f
my life is average i guess.
short story on my life- i live with my dad. my mom got a new job and moved across the world. but my parents are still together. just dont live together. i have a boyfriend. been dating for almost 7 months. i'm in love with him. we had a rocky start (many fights) but we worked it out and things are better now. I don't have a lot of friends. 1 best friend and a few other friends. I play a sport. My grades are good. (mostly A's and B's) I'm interested in a bunch of things varying from photography, art, listening to music, video production, cooking, writing etc.
so basically. my life is average. its ok. except... i find myself sad a lot. there are times when i just cry for no reason. If i'm home alone, i'll start crying for a little bit. and then i'm ok. if i'm out hanging with friends, they will be laughing and having a good time and sometimes i find myself to be distant and space out feeling a little sad.
what is wrong with me? i dont think its depression because i dont have thoughts of suicide or self harm. i dont think i HATE myself.. i just get sad sometimes. I'm not really sure why.
oh and this isn't really a thing i can talk to with someone. My dad wouldn't be any help, trust me. my boyfriend would just make things more confusing and difficult (its happened before. he thought i was sad because of our relationship and we were close to breaking up) my best friend doesn't really help either (ive gone to her for help before and majority of the time she makes absolutely no difference)
i just don't know why i'm sad. its not like my life is a giant disappointment..i just. feel sad. gah.
any advice?
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There doesn't have to be any real reason you're sad. That's the tricky thing about depression. It's just a chemical imbalance in your brain, for whatever reason. Until you try to sort that out, don't think suicidal thoughts. Watch Peter Pan, and think happy thoughts, It is very hard to do. In fact, I am in your shoes right now, looking up the best ways to commit suicide. Haha, hypocritical me... but in searching for answers, sometimes you don't find what you want to find, but what you need to find.
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Firstly, nothing is WRONG with you, really. it's okay to develop these feelings sometimes, even if you're not sure why.
Secondly, you don not have to be suicidal to be depressed, and it certainly sounds like you're suffering from a case of depression. It's a big stereotype that all people cut themselves, ro try and overdose if they are depressed, but really only a certain percentage of depressed people do. I'd recommend talking to your doctor about this, and if you feel like they aren't helping you because doctors can be very useless, phone a hotline, like samaritans, or something similar. you don't have to be suicidal or anything to phone these hotlines. Really, just talk to them, and maybe they can give you better advice.
xxx
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