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I need advice on improving communication with my husband.
My husband and I are quite literally polar opposites. I'm a "tree hugging hippie," and he's a "war-monger." I love him madly though, and he feels the same way, but because we are so vastly different, we communicate in different ways. When I was in school I had all kinds of psychological tests and access to books etc, for things like "Love languages", "Hartman's Color Code", and other such tests, but now I don't know how to get ahold of those anymore. I'd like to find some way to improve our communication, because when we do fight it's usually because of discrepancies therein. If I could get any advice on the matter it would be greatly appreciated.
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Go see a therapist togeather.
You don't mention how your husband feels about trying to improve your communication, and self help books and those True Color Quiz types things are all well and good, but unless your husband is also very invested in changing the way you communicate it's unlikely that alone will do you much good. Also, a therapist will have access to those quizes and workbooks. Most of them are not sold in bookstores, but through human reasources, managment training or counseling suppliers.
If your husband is luke warm on changing, going to counseling together can help you both discuss the your individual issues, and brush up on how to handle them better.
Therapy doesn’t have to be from when you are in crisis. It can also just be the kind of relationship tune-up you are looking for. It's a great idea to 'learn how to fight' in a way that works for you as a couple - invest in a therapist to help you figure it out. It's one of those things that is easier to learn from an experienced professional, then from a book.
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