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Falling hard for Mr. Unattainable


Question Posted Sunday February 6 2011, 1:13 pm

My brother is in a serious relationship- and we met the family for the first time recently, and I found myself attracted to her brother- physically, and personality-wise. We all went out afterward, and I talked to her brother at dinner basically the entire time... I had a feeling he might be interested, but (a) he is very outgoing and friendly, so he might have been trying to be nice (b) I'm his sister's boyfriend's sister, so that ties in closer to (a), and (c) he might already have a girlfriend, according to my brother, but we aren't sure if he still does, or if it's a serious relationship.

It's a difficult/awkward situation to be in. First, our siblings are in a serious relationship. I live across the country, for the time being...our siblings are in a long-distance relationship, but...i'm not even sure if there's a mutual attraction, though I did sense some interest on his part. He might have a girlfriend, our siblings are dating, I live far away...all odds are against this. Also, I send him a friend request on FB a few days ago, but he hasn't added me yet, though my brother and sister are FB friends of his.

I don't know what to do. My brother says it's not weird for me to like him, he's a great guy, etc., but I shouldn't get worked up over this, because chances are it will go nowhere, and I will just end up getting hurt. I feel like I already am- this guy seems like a total catch- he is intelligent, honest, friendly, I find him very attractive, and we seemed to be on the same wavelength (he is well-liked, since he is outgoing and sincere). He comes from a good family, and I adore his sisters. I know I shouldn't think about this too much, but it's on my mind a lot and I don't know what to do about it. Any thoughts?


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dearcandore answered Monday February 7 2011, 12:43 pm:
Hmmm... I think because you live across the country, perhaps you should just let this simmer. Keep in contact (FB, email, whatever is convenient) and just maintain a casual, 'getting to know you' kind of thing. Who knows where it will go from there, or what the future will hold, but since its not really realistic to plan for a full-on relationship with this guy for now, a long-distance friendship is a great place to start. Then, if and when it seems like you two could take it to the next level, you'll already have had the chance to really form a strong friendship, which is the key to any good relationship. Don't take this too seriously. Enjoy getting to know a great guy, and enjoy the feeling that anything is possible! When its right, it will all come together. Good luck!

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