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overprotective boyfriend!!
My boyfriend is SOOO overprotective. Some background stuff: he's seventeen and he used to live in chicago where he did a lot of bad stuff; alcohol, pot, gangs/fights. But when he moved here we started dating and have been for almost a year (11 months). When we first started hanging out (before we were official) he knew I didn't like smokers so he stopped that. He never liked being in a gang in the first place so he's not into those anymore. And drinking, well, we both party so its not a big deal. The problem in, he's gotten in about four bad fights sinces I've known him. He just get's SO jealous. One of the times he was legitimately protecting me, but the other three have been caused by random stupid guys which yes were pigs but never actually did any harm. Ya know, they'd talk shit about him and hit on me and try to piss him off that way... once they figured out that its a soft spot for him they tend to carry on with that. It's just stupid. I know he thinks he's "protecting me" but it really bothers me. I think he's about to get into another fight cause some guy has been telling him he's gonna... do things with me. Haha I don't wanna get into details cause it gets a little graphic but the point is my boyfriend and I BOTH know that this kid will never do any of this to me, he just knows that's what gets to him. My bf see's it as "defending my honor" but I see it as STUPID but he says I don't get it... Yeah he was right once out of the four times but I'm scared for him. He can't keep doing this. I love him so much... I just don't wanna see him get hurt over something so stupid but he just doesn't see it like I do... Please help! What can I say to him to get him to understand?? (I'm a sophomore, he's a junior; high school)
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I don't see the problem.
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Before I give you a piece of my mind just know that with relationships things are tricky because noone truly knows your relationship except you and your partner. Of course this is an advice site so here it goes. High school relationships are really overrated. If this situation has happened numerous times and obviously neither one of these guys have done anything to you physically then I think your boyfriend should know by now it is definitely not worth him getting mad for and ruining your relationship. Especially at your ages, this stuff is going to sound so stupid when youre older. Normally people that show actions like your boyfriend are veryyyy insecure about themselves. By him doing this to you and getting into all these fights only shows his weak spots and in fact kind of shows he's afraid. By that I mean scared in the sense of losing you, that one of these guys is going to take you away. He should have the type of attitude where he shouldn't let these guys get to him because you're his girl and he needs to show that off and not have a worry in the world that someone can steal you straight out of his hands. Easier said than done i know. I think you should really talk to him about any insecurities he may have. You may think you know everything about someone, but you find out something new everyday trust me. Especially when it comes to insecurities often people don't say anything until they experience that huge situation that breaks them down. Remember that it is very hard to change someone and most likely you may not always win. So theres always a chance it will get better and then theres a chance he will continue to do so. Talking and communication is the best thing to do. It will build your relationship stronger and help him realize that these people are not in your relationship...its just you two. Once he learns how to zone the nonsense out he will feel better and learn to avoid the fights and drama. It is not worth losing a relationship. If this doesn't end up working do not sweat it, trust me. Ive gone through my high school years and yes I was all "in love" and whatnot, but when things go wrong and you get older, trust meeeeee youll be looking back and realize how silly you were. Youre a young girl and deserve the best. Take advantage of the freedom you can have. Hope for the best, take care.
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