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I didn't do anything wrong?..
Abby I really need some advice! I'm sorry this will probably be long but I will definitely appreciate if you can help and I'll return the favor.
I'm 20f Ryan -19
So I met this kid Ryan through my best friend Joe. They played hockey together in South Dakota until Joe got released from the team. Ryan lives in the same state as me, he actually lives about 10 min from me. Anyways, I told Joe to put in a good word for me and after a couple of days me and Ryan started texting. This was in October. So Christmas came around and Ryan got to come home for a week. He said he wanted to see me and so I ended up going to his house twice while he was home for the week. It was incredible, he was so different than any other guy I've met. The only thing we did was made out. The thing I loved about him was that he always texted me first, not once did I ever text him. He basically texted me everyday and it was never an awkward conversation or boring. Then my friend and I decided we were going to take a road trip to see him for the weekend at the beginning of January because he said he wanted to see me, he's only 4 hours away. So we ended up going and saw him on a Thursday night, things were great we met a few of his teammates and we just cuddled, made out a little. Then Friday came and his parents ended up coming for the day which was fine, me and my friend found other things to do. He texted me before his game and then after his game Friday he texted me. Then Saturday came. He texted me before his game and then after his game he also texted me again but said he was with a few guys, but never invited us to come with him? Even though he knew I was there for him, and he was the one who wanted me to come. I was like whatever, me and my friend just ended up going in the hot tub then at the hotel. Well then I get a text at like midnight from a kid on Ryan's team, his name is Brent. I had met Brent Thursday night when I was with Ryan. Brent asked what me and my friend were doing and wanted to hang out, but it was obvious that he wanted to hook up with me. I thought, I better see how Ryan feels about this. so I asked Ryan if he was with Brent and he said no and I asked how he got my number and Ryan said haha I don't know he probably stole it from my phone. I said, well how do you feel about this and he said well if you want to hook up with him, go ahead. And I got really upset, you would think if Ryan really liked me he would be a little bothered his teammate was trying to get with me. I said, Ryan that's not what I want what the hell and he said I thought that's what you wanted me to say and I said no It kind of pisses me off that you don't even care and then that's when things just turned for the worse. He started saying I can't do this anymore it's pointless for me to talk to you when im in south dakota and your in minnesota. Then I was like what are you talking about and he was like I just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to talk to a girl I can never see. Then he tried saying and I feel bad that I'm talking to you because I know Joe (my best friend that initially hooked me up with Ryan) likes you. Why don't you like joe he's a great kid. I said me and Joe will never work we're just best friend, and I want you Ryan. After that I just tried calling him because I didn't want to text about it, I wanted to know what was going on. Well he basically ignored me when I called and then ended up texting me saying your acting like i'm your boyfriend. I was like Ryan what's your problem your nothing like I thought you were then wow thanks. And he continued being mean and just confusing like well you have a lot of guys you can talk to there and I was like yeah whatever your just a jerk, and he never replied. me and my friend ended up leaving that morning to go back home. I balled basically that whole night. I didn't hear from him for like three weeks. I was sad, I didn't know what I did wrong and it's so weird going from talking to someone every day to not at all.
Then his teammate Mitch who is a cutie found me on facebook and we started talking, I gave him my number and said he should text me. So then about a week ago I get a random text from Ryan and some random number saying the exact same thing. It was just a bunch of random things. I texted Ryan back saying grow up. Then he was like your the one trying to talk to my buddies three guys have said you tried talking to them, but talk to mitch he's a great guy with a huge dick. I was thinking wow here we go again. I was like yeah ok Ryan I haven't said anything to your teammates, they are the ones texting me. And whats your problem i didn't do anything to you. and he was whatever your weird. i was like i'm so weird ryan..yep. and he was like ok and i was like can we please just be civil and try to at least be friends and maybe we can hang out in the summer when you come home and he was like ok cool and i was like whatever then if your gonna be like that then fine (i thought he was being sarcastic) and he was like be like what? and i said sarcastic like, i'm just trying to be nice ryan and he said so am i, everything's fine and i just said good. i haven't talked to him since. it's sad that i still think about him all the time hoping he will text me, but i just don't know whats going on. i still don't feel like everything's fine like he said. and his teammates said it's weird that he acted like that towards me because he's not like that at all and hes respectful when it comes to girls. And the thing that kills me is that he is even going to college here in the fall and he'll be home in the summer so i don't know what his problem is. It's hard just forgetting about him :( should i let it go? should i try to say something? i don't want to make him mad again, even though i dont know what i even did.
ugh, any advice? i'm so hurt, i just need some guidance i think.
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Hi Honey,
To me, it sounds like this boy is immature. Even though he's 19 I still think he's a BOY, not a man. He's with a bunch of guys all day on his hockey team, that doesn't really promote respectful behavior towards women. And he does have a good point, that it's hard to have a long distance relationship. It would be one thing if you started dating while you lived near each other and got to know him very well. Right now you don't know what girls he talks to, what he does, and if he would even be faithful.
I know it's hard to stop thinking about him because you liked him, but I don't think he is any good for you. If he was worth it, he would come to you and prove himself.
And as far as talking to his friends, I wouldn't do that either. They all probably talk in the locker room, and you don't want your name being thrown around. It's a recipe for disaster.
I think at least for now you should let this go and focus on other things. You don't need any of these boys, I'm sure there are plenty in your area who are willing to treat you right.
Good luck,
-Abby
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