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is he second guessing??
Hey guys! first off I'm 20/F and he's 19/M.
Background information:
we dated in high school (my senior year, his junior year). He broke up with me. Not sure of the reason why. I know, how can you not know? Well believe me, I don't know.
We are both now in college. Me- Junior in college. Him- Sophomore in college.
In October we started talking again. We started talking about our past relationship and why we broke up. We both said that we still had feelings for each other and we'd like a second chance. He had a girlfriend at that time and I said that I couldn't continue talking to him how we were talking since he had a girlfriend, it was not fair to me or his girlfriend. He said he understood that and it wasn't fair but he wanted to still talk to me as friends. So we tried that and it didn't work. We couldn't talk as friends. So I said I couldn't talk to him anymore. So I stopped talking to him which was the hardest thing to do. A week later he messaged me and said he missed me, missed talking to me, and wanted to talk to me. A couple days later he broke up with his girlfriend.
We started talking a lot more after that and things were absolutely PERFECT. He came and visited me at my school and I went to his school a couple times. He's in a frat and he asked me to go to his frat's semi-formal and so I did. Everything was perfect. Things were better than before. We talked all day everyday non stop. He kept saying he didn't know why he broke up with me and he know realizes it was a mistake and he never should have. We hung out over our thanksgiving break and we hung out over our christmas break, we got each other christmas presents and we spent new years eve together. I've never been happier. When we are with each other we always have fun, we are always laughing and things are great.
Well, he went back to school 5 days before me and ever since he got back to school he's been short with me, giving me one-word answers. Not really talking as much, not messaging me first like he used to, not calling me babe or baby or anything. Not really saying much to me. I asked him if everything was okay and he said yes. I asked if something was on his mind and he said no, nothing is wrong. I don't want to keep asking that because eventually it's going to make him mad. I'm not sure what happened or if something happened or what I should do. I known you can not force someone to talk to you or force someone to do anything. It has to happen on it's own.
So I guess what I'm wondering is what you guys think is going on? What you think happened, or what you think is happening. And what I should do or what I shouldn't do.
ps: our schools are about 2 hours and 45 minutes away from each other and it wasn't a big deal before.
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First off good job for not talking to him when he had a girlfriend that makes you a good girl! I'm really surprised he left his girlfriend for you though that's really amazing!
I think what's going on is THINGS CHANGE. He's back to school so his schedule is different. He gets to see his friends and he has to focus on his studies and everything. He's just busy! Don't worry. I went back to college today and I noticed a change in myself with my boyfriend. It's really weird, but it's like you realize that you have a life at school too. Those are just my honest opinions about it though so don't take it too seriously.
You shouldn't keep bugging him about what's going on with him. That will make him close up. What you do need to do is just go with the flow. Don't jump to conclusions. If he doesn't contact you in awhile that means he's probably not interested or something bad. If he does keep in contact and all that then he's missing you and he's still into you and loves you so much.
I know what your going through and it sucks majorly. But you have to know what happens...is going to happen in life. Things never stay the same. There's nothing you can do about it. I think school has changed him. It changes everyone. I wish you luck with your boyfriend. :)
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Yuk! Sounds like a mess! First, KUDOS to you for sticking to your guns and making him make a choice. Like you said, it was hard to do it, but you did, and in the end, you got what you wanted (well, almost in the end) A guy wants a challenge, not a wishy-washy wimp who will let someone use them. Anyway... sounds like you had a really nice break. And it also sounds like he got back to school, got back to his 'real world' and maybe is having second thoughts. The thing is, it was easy to get lost in the excitement over break. You two were together with not a lot of other distractions. But picture this - he gets back to school, realizes this is where his friends are, his social circle, and you're so far away... having a relationship with someone so far away may not seem as doable to him now as it did when you were together. Whatever the case is, its not fair for him to keep you guessing. Its not right. So you need to find the guts to ask him straight out how he's feeling. Just do it. Don't think too much about it. Next time you talk (email/FB...whatever) just ask him straight out - are you having second thoughts about us, because I think you are. You have a right to know, so don't feel bad about "making him mad". You may not like the answer, but at least you'll know.
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